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Thread: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

  1. #13
    Texas Carol....put the heart in EBN Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    Quote Originally Posted by LynnA View Post
    Carol, If anyone hasn't told you lately, let me be the first to say you are a wonderful woman. Your words mean a great deal to me and I appreciate the time you took to write this post and share your life experience when it comes to this issue. It is a really big issue to me - I kind of stumbled upon it and it hit me that I CAN help this situation - there is such a need for fostering, in one weekend alone they brought in over 40 dogs....
    I will continue to seek God's strength in this - thank you so much for your post's and kind words. I really cherish. Right back at cha with sloppy kisses to Cami from Otis and I. I hope your doing well my friend. xoxo

    Thank you, Lynn, for taking my words in the right spirit and not taking offense, I have such love
    for you and want your life to always be fabulous & blessed! And of course, my situation got out
    of hand & isn't your situation with one dog. Your husband (knowing your heart) most likely fears
    you will be a foster fail and worries if Otis never really accepts him, constant chaos in the home.

    As I said, I will keep y'all in close thought & prayer that the answers to this be clearly shown & y'all
    move forward in one accord and united together of one mind. DO NOT let this come between y'all
    (or anything else)...the right solution will be revealed in time.

    Having said all this, Lynn, I understand your feelings. It's a bulldog (who here doesn't WANT another
    one)! It needs a home and you want to provide one...and can give it everything too. I fight still with
    my desire to adopt another bully needing a home but again, I step back and realize I've got more on
    my plate even now than I can handle & I owe FIRST to Cami & everyone here. It's difficult balancing
    our desires with our realities and more so with others than ourselves to consider. I understand your
    frustrations and resentments but give both of you more time to consider everything involved.

    Thanks for listening to my rambling thoughts...I just care about your happiness and YOU!



    My 1st bully, Brutus
    RIP beloved boy.

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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    Since I can't take another dog in my home I can't get a rescue from the Long Island bulldog rescue so I just send cash every time they send me a bulldog sobb story. That being said.... Your damned If you do and damned if you don't here. It's unfortunate that the hubby is not on board but hey, those dogs need homes. And giving a bully a forever home is never a bad thing no matter who it puts off. If Otis is an elderly dog he might be a little aggravated by a younger male dog running around in his space but It won't affect who he is. LIBR is good about screening for wether or not their dogs can go to a home with existing dogs/cats/kids so there shouldn't be and safety concerns. I know I'm a little biased here being an LIBR supporter but give it a shot. If it doesn't work out they will take the dog back from you, I'm sure. You may even decide to keep the dog and give back your hubby........... Joking joking just joking.
    Seriously though: find a compromise. I'm sure there is something your hubby wants to buy or do or somewhere he wants go that you haven't been okay with. Let him get that Harley he always wanted or the silly sports car or whatever. Find a way through his obtuse feelings toward the adoption.

    If my dog doesn't doesnt go to heaven then neither am I.





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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    Fostering. I said adoption but I meant fostering. ::::::::: planting the seeds of bully guilt::::::;;;;;

    If my dog doesn't doesnt go to heaven then neither am I.





  4. #16
    The Ultimate Sourmug Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    A little ashamed to admit, although I have confessed before, that I was a little hesitant of taking Punkin in when my bf asked me. We were already a perfect little family of 3 with Stiggy and was afraid how an older bully of 4 years, with a personality of his own, would fit in, let alone he also has some health struggles. But with a little time, lots of love, and tons of patience and discipline, Punkin made our fam even more complete.

    And we couldn't have predicted that it was Punkin who we needed to protect as Stiggy turned out to be the dominant one! They get along really well now. Although they both have their tantrums time and time again. lol.

    Maybe tell your hubby to try it just this once and if he feels that it's not working out, then that'll be it? Maybe he's afraid of change? We learned a lot more about Stiggy when Punkin joined and realized that he's not the angel that we all thought he was.
    "I am normally not a praying man, but if you really are up there, please save me Superman!'' - Homer J. Simpson

  5. #17
    Bulldog Vet in Training Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    Quote Originally Posted by Kross225 View Post
    Since I can't take another dog in my home I can't get a rescue from the Long Island bulldog rescue so I just send cash every time they send me a bulldog sobb story. That being said.... Your damned If you do and damned if you don't here. It's unfortunate that the hubby is not on board but hey, those dogs need homes. And giving a bully a forever home is never a bad thing no matter who it puts off. If Otis is an elderly dog he might be a little aggravated by a younger male dog running around in his space but It won't affect who he is. LIBR is good about screening for wether or not their dogs can go to a home with existing dogs/cats/kids so there shouldn't be and safety concerns. I know I'm a little biased here being an LIBR supporter but give it a shot. If it doesn't work out they will take the dog back from you, I'm sure. You may even decide to keep the dog and give back your hubby........... Joking joking just joking.
    Seriously though: find a compromise. I'm sure there is something your hubby wants to buy or do or somewhere he wants go that you haven't been okay with. Let him get that Harley he always wanted or the silly sports car or whatever. Find a way through his obtuse feelings toward the adoption.
    Otis is the perfect age, 17mos. He can adjust to the right situation. I also donate too, but want to do more - those babies need a home and love - and I have that. Trust you, me - this story isn't over yet.
    Otis you'll never know how much I love you I love you more then all the leaves on all the trees

  6. #18
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    Quote Originally Posted by savemejeebus View Post
    A little ashamed to admit, although I have confessed before, that I was a little hesitant of taking Punkin in when my bf asked me. We were already a perfect little family of 3 with Stiggy and was afraid how an older bully of 4 years, with a personality of his own, would fit in, let alone he also has some health struggles. But with a little time, lots of love, and tons of patience and discipline, Punkin made our fam even more complete.

    And we couldn't have predicted that it was Punkin who we needed to protect as Stiggy turned out to be the dominant one! They get along really well now. Although they both have their tantrums time and time again. lol.

    Maybe tell your hubby to try it just this once and if he feels that it's not working out, then that'll be it? Maybe he's afraid of change? We learned a lot more about Stiggy when Punkin joined and realized that he's not the angel that we all thought he was.
    Exactly what I've been trying to say - just try it once, if it doesn't work out, I'll continue supporting in another fashion. Could be too that Otis is a big mommas boy and maybe Dad is afraid of having even less time....and bed. lol
    Otis you'll never know how much I love you I love you more then all the leaves on all the trees

  7. #19
    The Ultimate Sourmug Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    If my bf really doesn't like an idea, he'd def say NO and will give a reason or reasons of why he doesn't want to go through with it. But if he's in that iffy stage and has some reservations but not adamantly against the idea, then he
    would tell me to 'do what I want' ... That's when I go ahead and at least try and stop if it doesn't work out.

    Catch my drift?
    "I am normally not a praying man, but if you really are up there, please save me Superman!'' - Homer J. Simpson

  8. #20
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    Sorry . ...late to this. Got a lot of things going on at home and at work and I have been neglecting my EBN duties!!!

    First of all, Otis is going to hit the terrible 2s soon so whether you get a foster or not you may see a character change!!!!

    That being said .... you need to sit down with your husband and just say to him that you both love bullies and you need to give something back. But that you are aware of his worries and between the two of you decide what kind of bully you are willing to foster. It may be males only it could be females only. Maybe get a senior ... no special needs that kind of thing.

    Are you going to be a total pain in the arse to the foster coordinater... YES. But at least they know which dog to send to you. I am the foster coordinator for ROEB and if you were with me I would appreciate the phone call with the explanation. And I would match the bully to the home just as I always do.

    I think you just need to be brutally honest with your hubby and say you feel that this is something you are being called to do. And be brutally honest with the rescue and say your hubby has reservations and for the time being the foster bully has to meet certain criteria.

    Hope that helps!!

  9. #21
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    I agree with Karen. Explain the situation to the rescue and they will certainly place the right dog with you. There are a LOT of bullys out there who need fostering, believe me when I tell you.. they have more than just one.

    As to Otis's potential behavior change all I can give you is my own experience as a foster home. I've had 7 fosters in my home in the past year. Eight if we include Tanker who is my latest failure If you do the introduction right and keep your wits about you there are no problems. They learn from each other and I truly believe they help each other heal. My dogs don't get depressed when a foster leaves and the only time fights happen is if I let tug of war get out of control, but you know what? My 3 who live together every day get in fights if I let tug go too far.

    If this is something that you feel strongly about, talk to your husband again. If it doesn't work out LIBR will find another home as soon as possible. I know we do. If we place a dog in a foster home and there is a problem we get that dog out of there ASAP. Even if it means doubling up on another foster parent.

    For me, her name was Abby
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  10. #22
    Bully Bootie Duty AmberXo's Avatar
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    Default Re: FOSTERING and husband not cooperating

    I have never fostered any bullies, but from my experience with adopting/fostering other animals - cats I can say exactly what was said before: animals adjust. We are the ones who have the problem. If I were in your shoes I would just go for it. There are so many 'what ifs' and your husband seems to have a few of them, but then I question... what if he is the one who ends up falling in love with the foster bully and turns out to realize how great it is that you guys were able to give the bully a home vs being in a shelter? I know my bully loves loves loves attention - she follows me everywhere, sleeps with me, lays on the couch with me - and I know quite a few other bullies who are the same way. In my opinion every animal should get that kind of attention, but bullies especially seem to love that attention so just think of the love and attention this one would get if you do foster. Your husband may be a tad iffy about it, but Otis may enjoy the company of a friend and in time they will learn to love each other. Who knows maybe you guys will be the bullies furever home! Hahaha But either way with my experience - one of which was a cat who also did not like dogs and adapted WONDERFULLY to my home with a dog - the animals learn to adjust... us on the other hand.. well let's just say if we could keep them all we would Either way I really think you should give it a try! This way you aren't asking yourself what if but instead know you gave it a try and if it doesn't work out then there's always another home for the bully - but lot's of them need homes/fostering. You are a great person for doing this! Again, maybe after your husbands what ifs are proved wrong - he will be more willing to continue forward. It's worth a shot

    Whoever said diamonds were a girl's best friend has never owned a bulldog <3

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