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Thread: Dilemma, need suggestions

  1. #1
    Bulldog Vet in Training Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Dilemma, need suggestions

    Good morning everyone,

    I saw a post last night from a local dog daycare that a woman has a 2yr old neutered male EB that she is trying to find a good home for. She say's she does not have the time due to work to give him what he needs.

    I spoke to my husband last night about him and he is DEAD set against it. I have always wanted EB's so to have the opportunity to get another would be a dream come true and to add a big brother for Otis, even better.

    So, I contacted the woman this morning just to visit him (of course it all remains to be seen on how he is).

    My dilemma, should I do this without my husbands consent? Come on now, who hasnt brought a dog home against their spouses wishes.....
    Otis you'll never know how much I love you I love you more then all the leaves on all the trees

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    Pet Sitter Become a 4 Paw Member Dee J's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    I totally understand! It took me months to talk my boyfriend into us getting Brutus, but he finally caved. Tell him the both of you are going to dinner, and take him to see the EB instead. You can't resist once you meet the little guy...at least I know I can't!
    The boy that stole my heart forever, Brutus Mayhem




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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    I would not bring him home without your husbands consent. What if he doesn't come around and you have to find a new home for the bullie, again???

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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    I really think the decision to get a dog, or another dog, should be made together. However, that said, there is nothing wrong with planting the seed, and then fostering it with gentle reminders, pics, and a few tears if necessary! My husband did not want another dog after we had to put our beloved bullmastiff, Murphy, down over a year ago. I was ok with this until we really settled into our new home in Florida full time. I was envious of our neighbors all walking their dogs, and on Friday nights, we would go down to our local marina where there is a Tiki Bar and Friday nights are "bring your dog night". He would call it my "doggie fix". But he realized something was missing, I was sad (and shamefully I admit that I shed a few tears when talking about getting another dog). Then, I saw him wavering and went in for "the kill". I brought up some pics of EBD's and I could see his heart melting. He came to me one day and said "I didn't think you ever wanted another dog, and I am not sure I do, but if it will make you happy, I will do whatever you want". That's all I needed. The next day, I found a breeder of EBD's an hour away, and she had a litter of 5 week old pups. I went alone to see them, and came back with pictures. My husband was in amazement of these tiny bundle of joys! A week later, he went with me to meet "Bogey" and as soon as he had him in his hands, he fell hopelessly in love with this bundle of fur! He has done nothing but talk about this dog since then, and is constantly going around the house "puppy proofing"! Sometimes I think he is more excited than me (not really!) Anyway, work on this- your guy may come around. But I would never bring home a dog without both of us being 100% in favor of the idea! Good luck!!
    Mary
    "We never really own a dog as much as they own us!"

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    First, you're asking for his agreement, not his consent. You're an adult. You shouldn't need consent but agreement between folks living in the same house is very important. Before you do anything, talk to the daycare staff to find out about any health or behavioral issues the dog may have. You don't want to bite off more than you can chew. Also, is she trying to sell him or will she just give him to you? That might need to be considered as well.

    Take hubby to meet the dog as others have stated. Suggest taking the dog as kind of trying it on for size. Let him know that if it doesn't seem to work for either of you or Otis, you will find him another home as quickly as you can. With this board, you know that will not be an impossible task. If needed folks here could probably put together a transport team to get the dog to a final destination.

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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    Some of the above comments is exactly how I obtained Otis. The tears, bringing him to visit Otis and he too fell in love once he held our boy in his arms. A two year pld male could be a little harder to finagle.

    I guess I'll start off with a visit myself to see how Samson's temperment is and go from there. I just wish my hubby would have a more open mind as opposed to just saying flat out NO.

    I am waiting a reply from the woman. Will let you know...here is a couple of pics of Samson.
    Otis you'll never know how much I love you I love you more then all the leaves on all the trees

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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    This was her post about him:
    Loving dog owner is looking for a wonderful home for my English Bulldog, Samson. I know PawZ always have the dog’s interests at hand and so that is why I am seeking your help. Samson turned 2 years old on 8/30/2012. I’ve had Sam since he was a puppy. He is a neutered male and his personality is absolutely wonderful. He is a lovable and sweet boy. He is great with company, children, etc. and l...oves attention. Why do I want a new home for Sam? I feel as though I haven’t had the dedicated time to spend with Sam like I should and I feel terrible about that. So I am looking for an owner that can spend ‘quality’ time with him.
    Sam enjoys walks, sleeping in the sun outside, playing in the snow and also loves the water in the summertime. He’s also very intelligent. He knows his toys by name and I’ve trained him to ring a dangling bell when he wants to go outside. Sam is also potty trained and crate trained.

    Sam is up-to-date with his rabies shot, distemper, etc. and I have all of Sam’s paperwork that I can provide to the new owner(s).
    I’m honestly not looking for money but prefer the BEST possible owner that can give him a lot of love and attention
    Otis you'll never know how much I love you I love you more then all the leaves on all the trees

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    Ah, your first mistake was speaking to him about it. I don't remember the original source of this quote, but it's a good rule of thumb, "It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission." It's easier to discuss the situation when he's staring into the sweet face of another snorting drooling bully, rather than just speaking about something in theory.

    It depends on your husband I guess. I'll give you two similar scenarios we had in my family.

    My mother: The vet called and said that he had a dog that the owners wanted to have put down because of a paralyzed leg. He said all the bills are paid and she's so sweet and only a year old, he just couldn't put her down. He asked if I wanted her.

    My father: No, we don't need another dog. We already have xxxxx dogs/cats/horses/sheep/pig (don't quite remember number of animals at that moment, but they weren't in need of any more four legged companionship.

    My mother: Oh fine, you get whatever you want (????can't imagine what). But I want to bring an injured animal in, and you have something to say....$@#*&%(#&(@&(#(*&(".

    My father (a few days later, when picking me up at the bus stop) Oh, your mother brought Penny home today.

    Me: I never doubted it for a minute.

    1984, someone offered my parents a horse, my father said no (they already had horses, which are expensive "pets," since no animal on my parent's farm did anything that might be considered as constructive, or at least no destructive). They did NOT need another horse munching oats and hay, while giving the stink eye to anyone who was considering going for a ride.

    Shortly thereafter, my father and I go to Ireland for three weeks. I went on from there to France, and when I called home, my husband told me some interesting news that had me howling with laughter. He said not to tell my father.

    I might not have told my father, but my nine year old sister had no such restraint. After I'd returned to Ireland, we were out in town with the family for dinner. My father used the phone in town to make a call home. He got my little sister on the phone first, and while she waited for my mother to come inside to talk, she said in a rush, "Daddy, remember that horse you told Mommy not to get? Well she got it and she was going to ride it and she fell off and she broke her arm. Juan (one of my father's employees) came down from Weehawken to help Mommy with the work with the animals."

    Whatever trouble or expense the horse might have causes, judging by my father's laughter, I think he felt the horse had earned its keep.

    Of course, my father is a saint, or he is at least working off time in Purgatory dealing with my mother for nearly 60 years. I don't know your husband, how amenable he is to being overridden, or how he already feels about Otis. But if you think his resistance can melt when the new boy is already in your home, I'd say go for it. Just make sure that's the real reason the woman is looking for a new home, and not because the dog has worked his way through all her furniture as a tasty between meal treat.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by mer55 View Post
    I really think the decision to get a dog, or another dog, should be made together. However, that said, there is nothing wrong with planting the seed, and then fostering it with gentle reminders, pics, and a few tears if necessary! My husband did not want another dog after we had to put our beloved bullmastiff, Murphy, down over a year ago. I was ok with this until we really settled into our new home in Florida full time. I was envious of our neighbors all walking their dogs, and on Friday nights, we would go down to our local marina where there is a Tiki Bar and Friday nights are "bring your dog night". He would call it my "doggie fix". But he realized something was missing, I was sad (and shamefully I admit that I shed a few tears when talking about getting another dog). Then, I saw him wavering and went in for "the kill". I brought up some pics of EBD's and I could see his heart melting. He came to me one day and said "I didn't think you ever wanted another dog, and I am not sure I do, but if it will make you happy, I will do whatever you want". That's all I needed. The next day, I found a breeder of EBD's an hour away, and she had a litter of 5 week old pups. I went alone to see them, and came back with pictures. My husband was in amazement of these tiny bundle of joys! A week later, he went with me to meet "Bogey" and as soon as he had him in his hands, he fell hopelessly in love with this bundle of fur! He has done nothing but talk about this dog since then, and is constantly going around the house "puppy proofing"! Sometimes I think he is more excited than me (not really!) Anyway, work on this- your guy may come around. But I would never bring home a dog without both of us being 100% in favor of the idea! Good luck!!
    Mary
    Hi Mary, welcome to EBN. I wanted you to know that we live in Sarasota also. We have been here 12 years and could never imagine leaving. Is it O'Leary's that have the "bring your dog night" People love their dogs around here. We bring Dublin everywhere. Would love to meet up with you some Friday evening. Ann Of course we would love to me "Bogey"

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by LynnA View Post
    This was her post about him:
    Loving dog owner is looking for a wonderful home for my English Bulldog, Samson. I know PawZ always have the dog’s interests at hand and so that is why I am seeking your help. Samson turned 2 years old on 8/30/2012. I’ve had Sam since he was a puppy. He is a neutered male and his personality is absolutely wonderful. He is a lovable and sweet boy. He is great with company, children, etc. and l...oves attention. Why do I want a new home for Sam? I feel as though I haven’t had the dedicated time to spend with Sam like I should and I feel terrible about that. So I am looking for an owner that can spend ‘quality’ time with him.
    Sam enjoys walks, sleeping in the sun outside, playing in the snow and also loves the water in the summertime. He’s also very intelligent. He knows his toys by name and I’ve trained him to ring a dangling bell when he wants to go outside. Sam is also potty trained and crate trained.

    Sam is up-to-date with his rabies shot, distemper, etc. and I have all of Sam’s paperwork that I can provide to the new owner(s).
    I’m honestly not looking for money but prefer the BEST possible owner that can give him a lot of love and attention

    Be careful here. Notice she didn't say anything about health issues. That could be an underlying issue - ASK both the day care and the owner if you pursue.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    Quote Originally Posted by linwhite View Post
    Be careful here. Notice she didn't say anything about health issues. That could be an underlying issue - ASK both the day care and the owner if you pursue.
    Oh I certainly will, I still have not heard a reply to my e-mail to her.
    Otis you'll never know how much I love you I love you more then all the leaves on all the trees

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Dilemma, need suggestions

    Obviously it is nice to get agreement from those that you reside with, but if you dont and decide to bring the dog home anyway, you can't really expect any help. I have 2 bulldogs and its TWICE the work that 1 is. I have never regretted it and love the both to pieces and of course think its better for every dog to have a friend of his/her own species to be with and to keep company when the humans are out. But, not sure my dogs are like everyone elses, but they are sooo different, they can be a lot of work. For example; taking dogs for a walk to go pee; 1 wants to walk all day long is with me anxious to go, the other is being miss stubborn and refusing to leave the doorstep. They are a total pain to walk for 1 person; Letting them out - we have a fenced area at the side we can let the dogs go out to... one of the dogs (the second one we got), wants to go out 30 times a night and will sit and whine and scratch at door to let us know. My husband and I share the getting up and letting them out and walking them etc... I was the one who talked my husband into getting the dogs, so feel that I should be doing most of the 'dog work' (including picking up droppings in the fenced area, feeding, water, waking up in middle of the night), but since we both in the end were in agreement we share this. If he had not agreed at all, It would be my total responsibility.

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