Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

hnhammond

New member
Aug 20, 2012
470
33
Los Angeles, CA
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USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Matilda (Tilly)
It's probably because although I grew up with dogs my entire life, Matilda is my first doggie all on my own, but I literally have new-mother syndrome where I panic whenever I leave her. It doesn't stop me from leaving (because you know, I have to) but it makes me worry the entire time I'm gone.

I'm crate training for the sole reason of NOT panicking when I leave her. Which has gone so well and Matilda adores her crate. And I know that while she's in there, she cannot get to anything electrical or anything that could choke her.

But even though I'm home every few hours, live in a very safe area, leave her treaties like kongs, I KNOW she sleeps when I'm gone, and we have both a fan running and AC on, EVERY time I leave I'm convinced she's overheated, choked to death, there's a fire and she's left inside, or she's been stolen. Even though I know I have things more valuable (for crooks, obviously not to me haha) and less of a hassle to steal than Matilda. But I just adore her so much, I couldn't imagine anything happening to her. The worst part is that I can't tell myself that it won't happen, because a lot of times, things do. I try to be as preventative and careful as possible but I still can't make myself comfortable.

What can I do? I wanted to install a baby cam, but I know I'd check it every 30 seconds, which would be totally unhealthy, too.

I'm so panicked, I'm even convinced her AMAZING EB-specialist vet is going to accidentally kill her when she gets spayed in a few weeks (even though I know he does several a day).

Help this crazy mom, please!
 

bulldogs4me

Crazy Bulldog Lady
Community Veteran
Sep 25, 2012
2,923
175
Texas
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Klava
awwwww you poor thing! I totally understand I really do I worry about my babies too but at some point things will get easier. I know what I'm going to say might not be what you want to hear, but this is what was said to me ... you can't control the world and what others do but you have to relax and let life go as it has been and stop worrying so much that something might happen it's really bad for your health. If it would make you feel better set up the baby cam and just set limitations on yourself as to when you can check it and say in a month take it down and you will probably be more relaxed because nothing will have happened. My son also says "if someone takes those dogs mom they will bring them right back" he thinks my babies are ummmm brats LOL

my thoughts and prayers will be with her as she gets spayed.
 

elearn

Bully lovin' gypsy
Community Veteran
Jul 31, 2012
1,207
53
Northern New Jersey
Bulldog(s) Names
Herman
it seems for the most part you might be feeling a little out of control and that you can't protect her when you're not around her and that is totally understandable!! i think it will get better over time. I cant remember how old Matilda is right now, but i think once she gets older and you see that everything is fine, she's not choking or getting tangled in something everytime you leave, you will relax a little :)

however, i would panic a little leaving the kong in there with Herman. LOL and i definitely dont trust leaving him alone with either of his vets and probably never will. i get nervous leaving him alone with his dad, but after a while i just pretend that everything is perfect - and when i get home i fix whatever happened. LOL
 

Danielle

New member
May 2, 2012
422
19
Quincy, Florida, United States
Bulldog(s) Names
Herschel and Fiona
I have had Herschel since last May and I still wake up several times a night to check on him. I hate to go anywhere without him and even prefer to only go to the few restaurants here that allow pets. LOL. It has gotten better, but I am probably going to always be a worry wart with him.
 

Vicaroo1000

"Slug Assassin" and PBS Gardening Dweeb
Jun 23, 2011
5,775
389
Mukilteo, Washington State
Bulldog(s) Names
Beefeater's Buxom Beatrice and Lord Harrington's Bodacious Beauregaard
Consider this; that anxious energy you're sharing; she's feeling it. You could be creating a neurotic like psycho and not even know it! Practice calm, assertive energy when you are with her (which will be the easy part, right?) and trust in your care of your pup when you are away. If you are taking all the necessary, normal precautions, nothing is going to happen to you baby! That anxiety that you share when you come through the door, wondering, "OMGOMGOMG IS SHE OK?", you are passing that along to your pup and a pack of dogs will never follow an unstable leader.
 

LariP

..........
Aug 4, 2010
8,293
452
Milwaukee, WI
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
(HRH) Her Royal Highness Princess Gracie & Princess Amelia Pond (Amy)
Take up Yoga or something to calm yourself.

Like [MENTION=2614]Vicaroo1000[/MENTION] just said above, your nervousness is being passed along to Matilda and will only serve to make her a nervous pup, or she will try to exert dominance over you and be pack-leader and basically misbehave. You could actually teach her to have separation anxiety without trying.

You have to be calm in order to expect her to be calm. So convince yourself it's in her best interest to calm down, because it is, and you'll get there!
 
M

mabel lou

Guest
How sweet you sound over her, and yes I also won't leave for to long simply because I worry she may have to go potty but I do leave and knowing she has been fed, watered, played with, and loved on allows me to go and enjoy life lol. She becomes to reliant on me even being a dog so I am getting better at coming and going. She is a baby to me and our routine is getting so much better and as I see her grow I am able to leave and not worry so much because she is learning the boundaries and that relaxes me so take your big girl pill and know that your are taking precautions making sure she is safe and that your going to come back to a little girl who is so happy to see you again because she knows you love her and sometimes it is good for them to be away from you because they get really excited once you return. You will be ok and so will your little girl. Have a great day
 

mdn525

New member
Aug 2, 2012
191
2
Bulldog(s) Names
Petunia aka "Tuni"
It's probably because although I grew up with dogs my entire life, Matilda is my first doggie all on my own, but I literally have new-mother syndrome where I panic whenever I leave her. It doesn't stop me from leaving (because you know, I have to) but it makes me worry the entire time I'm gone.

I'm crate training for the sole reason of NOT panicking when I leave her. Which has gone so well and Matilda adores her crate. And I know that while she's in there, she cannot get to anything electrical or anything that could choke her.

But even though I'm home every few hours, live in a very safe area, leave her treaties like kongs, I KNOW she sleeps when I'm gone, and we have both a fan running and AC on, EVERY time I leave I'm convinced she's overheated, choked to death, there's a fire and she's left inside, or she's been stolen. Even though I know I have things more valuable (for crooks, obviously not to me haha) and less of a hassle to steal than Matilda. But I just adore her so much, I couldn't imagine anything happening to her. The worst part is that I can't tell myself that it won't happen, because a lot of times, things do. I try to be as preventative and careful as possible but I still can't make myself comfortable.

What can I do? I wanted to install a baby cam, but I know I'd check it every 30 seconds, which would be totally unhealthy, too.

I'm so panicked, I'm even convinced her AMAZING EB-specialist vet is going to accidentally kill her when she gets spayed in a few weeks (even though I know he does several a day).

Help this crazy mom, please!

This is totally me :( Everyone thinks I'm completely insane...but I worry 24/7 the same things...she's getting spayed in December and I'm stressing out over which doctor should do her spay and what date I should do it, I think mostly because I'm 100% DREADING her surgery. I know that my nervous energy is probably making her misbehave :-/
 
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Momma2Bullies

New member
Aug 2, 2012
356
26
Canada
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Layla and Wilbur
[MENTION=5755]hnhammond[/MENTION], Well this is why we're here, right? It's a support group! I am the exact same way, since the day we brought them home. I know my colleagues think I am nuts, but I am constantly thinking about them. It is really hard...everyone's suggestions here are valid and I try to relax also....but easier said than done. These guys are literally my children (don't have skin babies lol) so I am all- consumed.
A friend once said to me " worrying is like praying for something bad to happen" so I try to not worry, but I think about the same things you do.

Just keep telling yourself she is safe, you know she ok, safe and warm, secure, and that she is loved. ( and we can work on our worry together!!!!!) xo!
 

Vikinggirl

Norwegian Rose
Community Veteran
Oct 8, 2012
9,740
597
Burlington, ON Canada
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Canada
Bulldog(s) Names
Bulldozer and Blossom
Hi, I also agree with all the good advice above. You should try not to worry so much, your going to make yourself sick with stress. I know easier said than done. She is totally safe in her crate, that is what the crate is for, a safe, comfortable place for her to go when you are not home, or your eyes can't watch her. As long as she is out to eat, drink water, play and you are spending the time with her when you home, she will be fine. She will learn the crate is a safe place to sleep and rest until Mommy comes home, she will get used to it, and won't mind. You mentioned you are lucky enough to Live close to home, and are able to come home every few hours, so you are checking on her, also you could use the baby cam on a limited basis like someone mentioned. Maybe use it just before the times you go home, that way you will know she is ok before you leave. I also agree with not leaving treats in the crate, as she could choke on them. I would leave her a Kong toy, one that is big enough for her not to swallow, and save the treats for when you come home. You could also leave the TV or radio on in the room with her, so she doesn't feel lonely. Good luck, and don't worry so much, she'll be fine.
 
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kazzy220

..........
Jul 31, 2010
8,556
441
Grafton, OHIO
Country
England
Bulldog(s) Names
Maggie (My Angel Baby 5/31/2012). Daddy (2 years). Linus (1year). Bella (4 years)
I totally agree with [MENTION=2614]Vicaroo1000[/MENTION] and [MENTION=983]LariP[/MENTION]. It's going to be hard but you need to calm yourself and not worry so much. I know she's your baby, but as time passes and she gets older it will become easier. :yes:
 
OP
hnhammond

hnhammond

New member
Aug 20, 2012
470
33
Los Angeles, CA
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Matilda (Tilly)
  • Thread Starter
  • Thread starter
  • #13
worrying is like praying for something bad to happen"

I love this. I said this to myself all day! It definitely helped me think of happy thoughts with Tilly instead!

Thank you all so much, you've made me feel much better about it! That is very true that Matilda probably feeds off my anxiety - I hadn't considered that. She is so good though, and NEVER has any separation anxiety... clearly, she's more of a big girl than her mommy is! haha


It's reassuring that so many of you feel the same way and that you all have happy, healthy bullies that have not been murdered/stolen/burnt to death. It's very comforting. I will try to mellow out. Thank you all!
 
M

mabel lou

Guest
I told my son about what you said about all the many things you think of that will happen and about how the vet is going to kill her when it comes to her going to vets and he laughed and said Mom you are on that site again arent you? I said yeah and continued telling him that "see mother isn't the only one who acts this way. But he learns a lot from me and what I learn when it comes to his boy bodine and he is not a bulldog, he is a bassett hound that my son is head over heels crazy about. So yeah it don't matter what the breed is or male or female dog or person. We just love our kids and want them all to be safe :)
 

Momma2Bullies

New member
Aug 2, 2012
356
26
Canada
Bulldog(s) Names
Layla and Wilbur
I love this. I said this to myself all day! It definitely helped me think of happy thoughts with Tilly instead!

Thank you all so much, you've made me feel much better about it! That is very true that Matilda probably feeds off my anxiety - I hadn't considered that. She is so good though, and NEVER has any separation anxiety... clearly, she's more of a big girl than her mommy is! haha


It's reassuring that so many of you feel the same way and that you all have happy, healthy bullies that have not been murdered/stolen/burnt to death. It's very comforting. I will try to mellow out. Thank you all!

i am so glad it helped! It helps me tremendously also. We're all a work in progress! Xo!
 

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