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Thread: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

  1. #1
    Dog Park Attendant hnhammond's Avatar
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    Exclamation Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    It's probably because although I grew up with dogs my entire life, Matilda is my first doggie all on my own, but I literally have new-mother syndrome where I panic whenever I leave her. It doesn't stop me from leaving (because you know, I have to) but it makes me worry the entire time I'm gone.

    I'm crate training for the sole reason of NOT panicking when I leave her. Which has gone so well and Matilda adores her crate. And I know that while she's in there, she cannot get to anything electrical or anything that could choke her.

    But even though I'm home every few hours, live in a very safe area, leave her treaties like kongs, I KNOW she sleeps when I'm gone, and we have both a fan running and AC on, EVERY time I leave I'm convinced she's overheated, choked to death, there's a fire and she's left inside, or she's been stolen. Even though I know I have things more valuable (for crooks, obviously not to me haha) and less of a hassle to steal than Matilda. But I just adore her so much, I couldn't imagine anything happening to her. The worst part is that I can't tell myself that it won't happen, because a lot of times, things do. I try to be as preventative and careful as possible but I still can't make myself comfortable.

    What can I do? I wanted to install a baby cam, but I know I'd check it every 30 seconds, which would be totally unhealthy, too.

    I'm so panicked, I'm even convinced her AMAZING EB-specialist vet is going to accidentally kill her when she gets spayed in a few weeks (even though I know he does several a day).

    Help this crazy mom, please!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    awwwww you poor thing! I totally understand I really do I worry about my babies too but at some point things will get easier. I know what I'm going to say might not be what you want to hear, but this is what was said to me ... you can't control the world and what others do but you have to relax and let life go as it has been and stop worrying so much that something might happen it's really bad for your health. If it would make you feel better set up the baby cam and just set limitations on yourself as to when you can check it and say in a month take it down and you will probably be more relaxed because nothing will have happened. My son also says "if someone takes those dogs mom they will bring them right back" he thinks my babies are ummmm brats LOL

    my thoughts and prayers will be with her as she gets spayed.
    I suffer from "M.B.S." (Multiple Bulldog Syndrome)
    because one bulldog is NEVER enough!!

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    Bully lovin' gypsy Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    it seems for the most part you might be feeling a little out of control and that you can't protect her when you're not around her and that is totally understandable!! i think it will get better over time. I cant remember how old Matilda is right now, but i think once she gets older and you see that everything is fine, she's not choking or getting tangled in something everytime you leave, you will relax a little

    however, i would panic a little leaving the kong in there with Herman. LOL and i definitely dont trust leaving him alone with either of his vets and probably never will. i get nervous leaving him alone with his dad, but after a while i just pretend that everything is perfect - and when i get home i fix whatever happened. LOL

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    Dog Park Attendant Become a 4 Paw Member Danielle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    I have had Herschel since last May and I still wake up several times a night to check on him. I hate to go anywhere without him and even prefer to only go to the few restaurants here that allow pets. LOL. It has gotten better, but I am probably going to always be a worry wart with him.

  5. #5
    "Slug Assassin" and PBS Gardening Dweeb Vicaroo1000's Avatar
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    Consider this; that anxious energy you're sharing; she's feeling it. You could be creating a neurotic like psycho and not even know it! Practice calm, assertive energy when you are with her (which will be the easy part, right?) and trust in your care of your pup when you are away. If you are taking all the necessary, normal precautions, nothing is going to happen to you baby! That anxiety that you share when you come through the door, wondering, "OMGOMGOMG IS SHE OK?", you are passing that along to your pup and a pack of dogs will never follow an unstable leader.

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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    Take up Yoga or something to calm yourself.

    Like @Vicaroo1000 just said above, your nervousness is being passed along to Matilda and will only serve to make her a nervous pup, or she will try to exert dominance over you and be pack-leader and basically misbehave. You could actually teach her to have separation anxiety without trying.

    You have to be calm in order to expect her to be calm. So convince yourself it's in her best interest to calm down, because it is, and you'll get there!

  7. #7
    mabel lou
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    How sweet you sound over her, and yes I also won't leave for to long simply because I worry she may have to go potty but I do leave and knowing she has been fed, watered, played with, and loved on allows me to go and enjoy life lol. She becomes to reliant on me even being a dog so I am getting better at coming and going. She is a baby to me and our routine is getting so much better and as I see her grow I am able to leave and not worry so much because she is learning the boundaries and that relaxes me so take your big girl pill and know that your are taking precautions making sure she is safe and that your going to come back to a little girl who is so happy to see you again because she knows you love her and sometimes it is good for them to be away from you because they get really excited once you return. You will be ok and so will your little girl. Have a great day

  8. #8
    Bully Bootie Duty mdn525's Avatar
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    Quote Originally Posted by hnhammond View Post
    It's probably because although I grew up with dogs my entire life, Matilda is my first doggie all on my own, but I literally have new-mother syndrome where I panic whenever I leave her. It doesn't stop me from leaving (because you know, I have to) but it makes me worry the entire time I'm gone.

    I'm crate training for the sole reason of NOT panicking when I leave her. Which has gone so well and Matilda adores her crate. And I know that while she's in there, she cannot get to anything electrical or anything that could choke her.

    But even though I'm home every few hours, live in a very safe area, leave her treaties like kongs, I KNOW she sleeps when I'm gone, and we have both a fan running and AC on, EVERY time I leave I'm convinced she's overheated, choked to death, there's a fire and she's left inside, or she's been stolen. Even though I know I have things more valuable (for crooks, obviously not to me haha) and less of a hassle to steal than Matilda. But I just adore her so much, I couldn't imagine anything happening to her. The worst part is that I can't tell myself that it won't happen, because a lot of times, things do. I try to be as preventative and careful as possible but I still can't make myself comfortable.

    What can I do? I wanted to install a baby cam, but I know I'd check it every 30 seconds, which would be totally unhealthy, too.

    I'm so panicked, I'm even convinced her AMAZING EB-specialist vet is going to accidentally kill her when she gets spayed in a few weeks (even though I know he does several a day).

    Help this crazy mom, please!
    This is totally me Everyone thinks I'm completely insane...but I worry 24/7 the same things...she's getting spayed in December and I'm stressing out over which doctor should do her spay and what date I should do it, I think mostly because I'm 100% DREADING her surgery. I know that my nervous energy is probably making her misbehave :-/
    Last edited by mdn525; 11-05-2012 at 07:26 AM.

  9. #9
    Pet Sitter Momma2Bullies's Avatar
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    @hnhammond, Well this is why we're here, right? It's a support group! I am the exact same way, since the day we brought them home. I know my colleagues think I am nuts, but I am constantly thinking about them. It is really hard...everyone's suggestions here are valid and I try to relax also....but easier said than done. These guys are literally my children (don't have skin babies lol) so I am all- consumed.
    A friend once said to me " worrying is like praying for something bad to happen" so I try to not worry, but I think about the same things you do.

    Just keep telling yourself she is safe, you know she ok, safe and warm, secure, and that she is loved. ( and we can work on our worry together!!!!!) xo!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    Hi, I also agree with all the good advice above. You should try not to worry so much, your going to make yourself sick with stress. I know easier said than done. She is totally safe in her crate, that is what the crate is for, a safe, comfortable place for her to go when you are not home, or your eyes can't watch her. As long as she is out to eat, drink water, play and you are spending the time with her when you home, she will be fine. She will learn the crate is a safe place to sleep and rest until Mommy comes home, she will get used to it, and won't mind. You mentioned you are lucky enough to Live close to home, and are able to come home every few hours, so you are checking on her, also you could use the baby cam on a limited basis like someone mentioned. Maybe use it just before the times you go home, that way you will know she is ok before you leave. I also agree with not leaving treats in the crate, as she could choke on them. I would leave her a Kong toy, one that is big enough for her not to swallow, and save the treats for when you come home. You could also leave the TV or radio on in the room with her, so she doesn't feel lonely. Good luck, and don't worry so much, she'll be fine.
    Last edited by Vikinggirl; 11-05-2012 at 06:42 PM. Reason: Typo correction

  11. #11
    "Slug Assassin" and PBS Gardening Dweeb Vicaroo1000's Avatar
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    Default Re: Panicking about my bully baby.. all the time?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Momma2Bullies View Post
    A friend once said to me " worrying is like praying for something bad to happen" so I try to not worry, but I think about the same things you do.
    Good advise! I love that.

  12. #12
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    Default

    I totally agree with @Vicaroo1000 and @LariP. It's going to be hard but you need to calm yourself and not worry so much. I know she's your baby, but as time passes and she gets older it will become easier.

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