This is the best... had to post it

Dubbiedog

New member
Community Veteran
Apr 29, 2012
963
65
Beautiful Sarasota, Florida
Bulldog(s) Names
Dublin
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T, IT'S ALSO A TRUE STORY.
The Following was found posted very Low
on a refrigerator door.

Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It IS NOT necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!

If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door
shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to

turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: kiss me first, then go smell the other

dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness,
dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT
AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here....you don't.

(2) If You don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted
sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours
and don't speak clearly.

Remember,

Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

(1) Eat Less,
(2) Don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) Normally come when called [except cats],
(5) Never ask to drive the car,
(6) Don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) Don't smoke or drink,
(8) Don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) Don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) Don't need a gazillion dollars for college
And

(11) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

If this doesn't make you "howl" and nod your head a million times... I give up...:ROFL:
 

kazzy220

..........
Jul 31, 2010
8,556
441
Grafton, OHIO
Country
England
Bulldog(s) Names
Maggie (My Angel Baby 5/31/2012). Daddy (2 years). Linus (1year). Bella (4 years)
That is funny!!!!! :ROFL:
 

Davidh

Head Pooper Scooper
Staff member
Mar 21, 2011
13,407
848
Katy, Texas
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
BeBe, Hazel, Lucy Lu, JLO, Hillary, Henri, & Katie

kim n the guys

Well-known member
Community Veteran
Apr 3, 2011
1,581
138
Holt, MI
Country
United States
Bulldog(s) Names
Oliver, Sebastian, Remy, Gracie, and Tonka (10-21-07 to 05-29-14 RIP)
Okay, I'm printing it for my fridge and posting it on my fb page!!! Thanks for the chuckle today!
 

RaRett

Oogle Me on Google
Community Veteran
Apr 15, 2012
1,475
194
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Missi -- With Gizmo and Hershey never far from my heart
Egad ! I just re-posted that from another site onto the 'General Non-Bully' area :p oh well
 

2BullyMama

I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog?
Staff member
Community Veteran
Jul 28, 2011
48,581
3,673
Gilbertsville, PA
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Chelios (Frenchie), Nitschke (2004-2011) Banks (2005-2014) and Lambeau (2014-2024)
LOL.... this really never gets old.... LOL
 

GatorRay

I am in total control....I think
Feb 25, 2011
3,432
227
Louisville, KY
Bulldog(s) Names
Gator & Lucy Goosey, the Basset and Gigi (AKA Gypsy)
Now I have to print two. One for the fridge and one for the front door! LOL
 

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