That is funny!!!!!
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T, IT'S ALSO A TRUE STORY.
The Following was found posted very Low
on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It IS NOT necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!
If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door
shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to
turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: kiss me first, then go smell the other
dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness,
dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT
AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here....you don't.
(2) If You don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted
sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours
and don't speak clearly.
Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) Eat Less,
(2) Don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) Normally come when called [except cats],
(5) Never ask to drive the car,
(6) Don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) Don't smoke or drink,
(8) Don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) Don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) Don't need a gazillion dollars for college
(11) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
If this doesn't make you "howl" and nod your head a million times... I give up...
That is funny!!!!!
LOL @ "if they get pregnant you can sell their children"!
I love it.
Have a Great Bully Day.
Member of The Bulldog Club of America, The Bulldog Club of Texas and French Bulldog Club of America.
Bully hugs from - BeBe, Hazel, Lucy Lu, JLO, Hillary, Henri & Katie
This is great!
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Okay, I'm printing it for my fridge and posting it on my fb page!!! Thanks for the chuckle today!
Kim, Lord Sebastian, Sir Oliver, Remy Le Beau, and Gracie Lou <3
Love it. Great chuckle for the day!
"I am normally not a praying man, but if you really are up there, please save me Superman!'' - Homer J. Simpson
Egad ! I just re-posted that from another site onto the 'General Non-Bully' area oh well
LOL.... this really never gets old.... LOL
There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your life.
Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings