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Thread: This is the best... had to post it

  1. #1
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    Default This is the best... had to post it

    FOR THOSE WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
    FOR THOSE WHO DON'T, IT'S ALSO A TRUE STORY.
    The Following was found posted very Low
    on a refrigerator door.

    Dear Dogs and Cats:
    The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that it is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
    Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object.
    Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It IS NOT necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom!

    If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door
    shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to

    turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order for kissing is: kiss me first, then go smell the other

    dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
    Finally, in fairness,
    dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

    TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT
    AND COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

    (1) They live here....you don't.

    (2) If You don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"-niture.
    (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted
    sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours
    and don't speak clearly.

    Remember,

    Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

    (1) Eat Less,
    (2) Don't ask for money all the time,
    (3) are easier to train,
    (4) Normally come when called [except cats],
    (5) Never ask to drive the car,
    (6) Don't hang out with drug-using people;
    (7) Don't smoke or drink,
    (8) Don't want to wear your clothes,
    (9) Don't have to buy the latest fashions,
    (10) Don't need a gazillion dollars for college
    And

    (11) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

    If this doesn't make you "howl" and nod your head a million times... I give up...

  2. #2
    ..........
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    That is funny!!!!!

  3. #3
    Pet Sitter LoveMyBully82's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    LOL @ "if they get pregnant you can sell their children"!

  4. #4
    Head Pooper Scooper I am an EBN Reporter
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    Davidh's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    I love it.
    Have a Great Bully Day.
    Member of The Bulldog Club of America, The Bulldog Club of Texas and French Bulldog Club of America.
    Bully hugs from - BeBe, Hazel, Lucy Lu, JLO, Hillary, Henri & Katie


  5. #5
    Doggie Boutique Owner Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveMyBully82 View Post
    LOL @ "if they get pregnant you can sell their children"!
    Funny, that line stood out for me too...

  6. #6
    Feed Store Operator Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    This is great!
    "The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

  7. #7
    Rescue Volunteer Become a 4 Paw Member
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    kim n the guys's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    Okay, I'm printing it for my fridge and posting it on my fb page!!! Thanks for the chuckle today!
    Kim, Lord Sebastian, Sir Oliver, Remy Le Beau, and Gracie Lou <3

  8. #8
    Bully's Bikes and Books! Zoey1974's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    Love it!


  9. #9
    The Ultimate Sourmug Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    Love it. Great chuckle for the day!
    "I am normally not a praying man, but if you really are up there, please save me Superman!'' - Homer J. Simpson

  10. #10
    Oogle Me on Google Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    Egad ! I just re-posted that from another site onto the 'General Non-Bully' area oh well

  11. #11
    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    2BullyMama's Avatar
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    LOL.... this really never gets old.... LOL
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your lif
    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




  12. #12
    Doggie Boutique Owner Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: This is the best... had to post it

    Quote Originally Posted by RaRett View Post
    Egad ! I just re-posted that from another site onto the 'General Non-Bully' area oh well
    The more places it can be seen the better

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