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Thread: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

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    Dog Groomer bubbaisapig's Avatar
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    Default OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    I feel lke I have to speak my mind. Everyone on here is so compassionate and giving! love this about you!! I feel,sometimes, that we maybe are not completely honest with comments we make...for fear of offending. Me..personally.. I want everyones honest opinion about something...I want to hear it..no matter if it's want to hear, or not. I believe we are all on here because we want answers to whatever question we have. At least I would want that! There is a difference between constructive criticism and just being rude...huge difference! I have read threads that I know..wel think i know..that everyone has a certain opinion about but afraid to say. Maybe I'm completely wrong in this...If I am ..I so apologize! If you want to delete this post..I understand! I just want to do right by our bully's! That's what it is all about>>.right? Plse forgive me if i offended anyone!!!!

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    I think we try to keep in mind that where we are coming from may not be the same as where someone else is coming from. We want EBN to be educational and informative, welcoming and comfortable for everyone. We want Drama free. Does that mean I always agree? Definitely not. I'm probably overly judgmental about certain things I've seen posted. But also in the interest of maintaining Peace on the forum I've vented to a select few instead of a public rant. Feel free to use me as a vent if you feel you need to. Sometimes just that is enough, or sometimes the perspective of a sounding board is enough to temper the situation.

    Oh and with one particular poster in the past I had to just not read their posts...it wasn't worth how angry they made me. So I learned about the ignore feature and used it.

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    I wouldn't so much say that people are afraid to say things...probably just considering where the other person is coming from. It's so hard to read peoples tones and inflection when it's just typed words so if you say one thing it could come off totally wrong...thus causing drama.

    And I must say EBN is wonderfully drama free

    Maybe you could just add a little disclaimer if you ask a questions and want everyone to be brutally honest LOL

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    I know I'm guilty of saying one thing in a post and not put what I'm REALLY thinking. But sometimes what I'm commenting on is a "done deal" and despite my belief that the member did the wrong thing saying that to them wouldn't really help. So right or wrong I try and make the best of what the poster has written about ... whilst thinking to myself WTF!!

    Now if the poster is proving to be a recurring "idiot" about something then I either ignore their posts or start to comment in ways that are probably not quite as subtle!!!


    However, I do like @MamaAndi's suggestion of writing a disclaimer at the bottom!!!

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    @LariP Is there really an ignore feature?
    @bubbaisapig- The problem with speaking ones mind, which I personally have no problem doing, is the possbililty for misunderstandings secondary to lack of non-verbal communication with online forum. For example, I have a very sarcastic sense of humor. IN person, people know I am teasing because of my smile but online not everyoine understands I am just playing around. So by speaking ones mind or providing constructive criticism, it could easily be misinterpreted. I am with LariP, if you ever need to vent I am available!!


    I'm a good girl, I promise

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    Really, if everyone agrees on everything all of the time, then someone is not thinking! It is good to consider ideas that differ from your own!

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    Me, by nature am not politically correct, so when I see something that I may not agree with or it may make me angry, I usually will have to rewrite it several times and read it back to myself to try not to sound rude or demeaning to the person, because we are all here to learn and enjoy our bullies, and I do not want someone taking what I say the wrong way and take a chance of them leaving the forum. I have come across several where I figured I better not say anything at all, because I know it will not come out right. But I know there has been several times where I may have come off a little harsh at time.
    Have a Great Bully Day.
    Member of The Bulldog Club of America, The Bulldog Club of Texas and French Bulldog Club of America.
    Bully hugs from - BeBe, Hazel, Lucy Lu, JLO, Hillary, Henri & Katie


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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    Quote Originally Posted by agingermom View Post
    @LariP Is there really an ignore feature?
    !
    Yes...you can go to the persons profile and it's an option on list of options on the left side of the screen to ignore posts by the user. I'll warn you even if you select it you will see threads the person started in the what's new listing, but it will make it so you don't see the posts the person posts on other people's threads.

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    i myself pretty much say whats on my mind but like @Davidh i sometimes will write and rewrite something and read it over and over and make sure im saying what i want to say in the best possible way as to not upset a poster. i have enlisted the help of another poster and had them post a response in a thread as i was not able to do it in a constructive way as i was angry. it is very easy to misunderstand what someone meant from printed word. i have read some posts and thought they were saying one thing and were informed that they did not mean it that way at all and with all the new members here we sometimes go out of our way to not seem a petty and ugly forum. which btw we are not. i use the breakroom and pm alot to vent about something that really upsets me here. i have although let a couple of posters have it that really made me angry and i thought were doing damage here to this forum.
    Last edited by cowsmom; 06-17-2012 at 06:44 PM.

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    Default

    I personally believe that education is key. I am not fake, and if I read a post that I believe the person is doing something wrong (especially bulldog health and breeding related) I try to educate instead of calling them an idiot. I have been an idiot many times and it was from being educated did I change. For example, in the breeders forum we get asked a lot of questions. I could say "if you don't know the answer what in the heck are you doing breeding in the first place???"

    But I realize that what is done is done, no changing it so I think about the momma bully and her pups and hope with our guidance they can raise a healthy litter. The reality is those pups are born, and they will need good health and homes. Hopefully the person who bred them will tell them all about our forum so they can get the advice they need when the time comes. If I said "what are you doing breeding in the first place?" they would leave EBN, raise an unhealthy litter, and perhaps put their mama in danger. I could not sleep at night knowing that could happen.

    My point is if you see something you disagree with, being nice and helping and educating can make all the difference on whether they will listen to you. Be rude and you will lose the opportunity to better a bulldogs life....

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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    I like to speak my mind too, but I have one extra disability...that I don't speak/write the language well enough. I already have probably offended somebody or made my self appear like a fool, so sometimes I just have to put a sock in it or in this case put them socks on my hands....

  12. #12
    Dog Groomer bubbaisapig's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK..i hope you guys will not be too pissed at me!

    You make very good points! I will try to look at them as a teaching tool!

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