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Thread: Bit off more than we could chew?

  1. #13
    EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    Cheryl, I can't tell you how sorry I am for this nightmare you are dealing with. It's bad enough to lose your mom, and then having to deal w/this POS is unimaginable. I agree w/everyone else about getting the dogs… I'm sure he is just doing this to add fuel to the flame. As far as the money goes (and your mom's house) YOU will have to decide what you want to do… either way your inheritance will be gone which is an absolute shame. You need to really think about what will truly give you peace… making his life a living hell or walking away and never dealing w/him again. Both answers truly suck… but unfortunately these are the cards that you were dealt. As you know, I will more than likely be in the same position because of my POS stepfather and right now I want to take him to court for YEARS, but my opinion may change when the time comes. It's hard to predict what frame of mind I may be in at that time…

    My wish for you and your siblings is peace… God knows you deserve it after all that you have been thru!!!

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

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  3. #14
    Bulldog Vet in Training Become a 4 Paw Member Donnam's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    Cheryl, this is just a terrible story! First of all I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my mama to cancer also and it's a painful ordeal for everyone. I can't imagine how angry you are at this man and his despicable behavior. And my heart breaks for those sweet babies in that situation. It's going to be very hard to do, but I hope you will be able to let go of this terrible anger eventually. Of course the anger is more than justified, but living with it everyday can make your life miserable and affect your health. I know you have siblings involved, so that complicates the situation. One can never know what they would do in another's situation, but I think I would try to negotiate for the dogs with money. That's obviously all he cares about. Maybe it's time to give up this fight and move forward. I so hope you can get those dogs--that just breaks my heart. As for the money and the stuff, it is only money and stuff, and not worth so much agony. I would also consider going to a counselor/psychologist to get some help with letting go of this anger, because it will be so tough to do.

    It's so sad that so many families have trouble over money and possessions when someone dies. I know my family has had difficulties in this kind of situation and probably most families have too. Granted, most people don't have it as bad as you have. And what's so hard, is that you and your family are in the right. That is obvious to me and it's hard to believe that a court would find otherwise.

    again, I'm so sorry this has happened to you and you family! Hugs to you and I hope things get better for you soon.

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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    I can't believe how cruel and evil this bastard is and my heart breaks for you and your family. The picture of his nails is enough to prosecute in California, I don't know how anyone could live with themselves doing something like that to a defenseless creature. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family always.

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  7. #16
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    I'd hustle the bastard for the dogs, seems he's all about money, then Grieve and find ways to heal. He's a bastard and karma is a bitch.(sorry, language but €>%#*!? Bastard is nicest word)
    I hope sharing your story gave you some small measure of relief.... but it sounds so very painful and difficult.
    Good luck, be patient and if you need some help "dog napping" let's roll!

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  9. #17
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    Cheryl I didn't know that this was still going on I am so sorry he is doing this too your family, I see why you want your mums house I would feel exactly the same way and probably be doing the same as you but it is destroying you Cheryl and that just is not fair one little bit, maybe if you drop the case would he give you the dogs but then again I don't know if that is what you should do either one thing I know I don't want to see you destroy yourself completely over this as like the others have said it is material things and I think your Mum would not want to see this happen to you either Cheryl and you do need to grieve. When my Mum died the first couple of years I nearly destroyed my marriage over it all I pushed my kids away I could not cope on the outside round people I put a show on but at home I was a total mess my situation was different to yours but I know you and your mum were like me and my mum. Please Cheryl don't let it destroy you, your too special for that.

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    Doggie Boutique Owner Become a 4 Paw Member jenzaar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    I can't even wrap my head around this enough to come up with a proper response, but I'm so sorry for all suffering this man has led you to, and of course the loss of your mom.
    I don't understand why people will go through such measures to maintain control.

    I'm really sorry. Hugs to you and yours.

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  13. #19
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    Hi Cheryl, I am so sorry that you and your family are dealing with this while grieving your Mom. I can understand how you feel, betrayed, sad and angry, I am reading your story and I am feeling sad and angry for you that someone would take advantage and be so heartless to do this to you and your Moms memory. Especially someone who you all trusted and that your mother trusted, and someone who was supposed to love your mom. My Dad lost his wife, my stepmom to brain cancer a few years back, and her family tried all the same evil things for money, and tried to take his house, even though it was his house before he married her. She also left a will, and left everything to my Dad, but he didn't keep anything that was hers, he gave them her car, her computer, her money that she had in her own account, and all of her personal things and jewellery, even though he didn't have to, he even payed for the funeral. People can turn on you and become so greedy for money. They put my Dad through so much stress and at a time when he was grieving his wife, instead of honouring their mother, they only saw money. Its very sad. They had no leg to stand on for the house, because it was my Dads house, but they still tried. I don't understand how he can fight the will, when your mother wrote one out with her wishes. Is their any way you can get a lawyer from legal aid? If not, then even though he doesn't deserve anything from your mom, maybe your best bet is to go through mediation so that you can preserve why is left of the house. Maybe offer him 1/3 of the house, or buy him out with your siblings if you guys can. It is so sad that he won't give you your Moms bully babies, its clear that he doesn't love them like you and mom did, and he isn't taking good care of them, or have their best interest at heart. Is he doing this just to hurt you?, and If you have the papers for these dogs, why can't you get them back from him? he clearly doesn't have a heart, and is a very heartless, loveless person. i believe in that Karma stuff, and what goes around comes around. I truly feel for you Hun, and its awful that you are dealing with this while trying to grieve your mom. Don't let this get you down, your Mom was a fighter, and its clear that there was great love between her and your family. Remember her and all the wonderful memories you have of her and keep going forward. The most important stuff is love, family, your memories of her and the rest is just stuff and money. These things can be replaced, but Life is Short and the Love you shared with her will always be there in your heart, so she will always be with you. I hope he reconsiders and lets you have her Bully babies, so they can find new homes and be cared for and loved. Good Luck Hun, and I hope things get easier for you. You have been through so much. Know that we are here for you to listen and offer love and prayers. I'm sending Love, hugs and Prayers your way. Take Care of You
    LEARN A LESSON FROM YOUR DOG, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS YOU, KICK SOME GRASS OVER THAT AND MOVE ON.

  14. #20
    Rescue Volunteer Become a 4 Paw Member Cali Doll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    Dear God, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. My heart aches for you. You don't deserve this. The dogs don't deserve this, and certainly your dear, loving mother didn't deserve this.

    That man is a vile human being, and one day he'll get what's coming to him.

    I agree with the others in that maybe you should see if the vet can advise you on how you can get the dogs away from him. Surely there's a way, since they're being neglected.

    I really didn't know that someone can have this much leverage when there's a legal will in place. This breaks my heart.

    I will pray that you can have peace very soon. You so deserve it.
    {MEAN JOE BELLA}



    IG: @bellatheenglishbully

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  16. #21
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    I just wish you "PEACE OF MIND" in line with the Holidays.

    Hope you discern what is best.
    Hug your bully today

  17. #22
    The Stripe Wearing, Broom Wielding, Voodoo Priestess Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    Call the local chapter of the ASPCA in your area. They can work some real magic at times; I have had to get them involved with a few of my rescues over the years, they have quit a bit of power. Dealing with the family in your situation is never easy; at some point you will have to decide just how far you are able to go and my prayers are with you. Just keep in mind, negative energy has a way of affecting your health too so be careful. From my experience with inheritance and the law......pick your battles wisely and make sure you know exactly how far you are willing to go. Common sense must prevail....try to get the bullies taken care of and the rest will fall into place one way or another. I would recommend considering at least being amitable to getting them into the vet office; then maybe even if it isn't your vet you could have your vet possibly mediate for you with the other vet. Vets can also call the law and have an animal surrendered. Just food for thought. Good luck, our hugs and prayers are with you.
    Last edited by dalmatina38; 12-14-2015 at 10:53 AM. Reason: spelling

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  19. #23
    Bully Bootie Duty Become a 4 Paw Member bengardradar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bit off more than we could chew?

    I am so sorry your getting good advice already from everyone. We will be thinking of you and the sweet puppies. Breaks my heart some people are a holes

    Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk
    Our Motto: Better Free on 3 then sore on 4

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