I am so terribly sorry for your loss *HUGE HUGS*. I am sure that the shock of it all isn't helping. Just remember, you loved him endlessly and cared for him wonderfully and he will be watching over you and waiting for the time you will be together again. I completely understand that you just couldn't leave him there, I doubt I could have either. He is a beautiful boy and will be sorely missed.
Take care of yourself and try to keep your chin up.