One year ago today, I lost my big beautiful boy Winston...

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
Today is a difficult one for meā€¦ a year ago today we lost our big beautiful boy Winston.

As I sit here in tears, I can tell you every little detail about that dayā€¦ but I don't want to focus on that today, it's too raw for me to go into the details of what happened. I will say that it will go in my personal history as one of the absolute worst moments in my life. The kind that you didn't see coming, and the horrible loneliness I felt driving back alone that night.

The saying goesā€¦ that when God slams the door, he opens a window. Wellā€¦ in my case, he opened two!!!

The first one was EBNā€¦ I can NOT put into words how much YOUR support here on EBN has meant to me and my family. The outpouring of messages, calls, letters, flowers, memorial stones, and necklace were overwhelmingā€¦ AND that support has continued to this very day. I will NEVER forget the day we picked up Winston's ashes (me & the hubby were already in tears) and there on the counter were my flowers from EBN!!! At that moment we realized that there WERE other people like usā€¦ who believed that animals were family!!! There are several members on here, and YOU know who you are ;) that I consider my own personal familyā€¦ I could NOT have gotten thru this nightmare w/out you!!! Your love and friendship mean the absolute world to meā€¦ :heart:

The second one is Walterā€¦ I really wasn't sure if I was ready to have another bully baby in my life again. Winston was the last of three bullies that we had lost in the past year, and I didn't know if I could open my heart up again. Lily was having an extremely hard time after the loss of Winston, so I put my personal feelings aside and decided the timing was right. Walter has brought us SO much joy, and has healed a family that was beyond heartbrokenā€¦ NO dog can replace another, your heart just expands. Walter reminds me of Winston at times w/his bossiness and surveying of his kingdomā€¦ BUT he also reminds me of Bella w/his OCD over the vacuum and his other quirks.

Some people have said to meā€¦ How can you get another bulldog after all that you have been thru?!! My comment to them is thisā€¦ How can I NOT?!! Bullies LOVE like no other, and WE are the blessed ones who get to experience that LOVE for ourselves. No matter HOW many times my heart will be broken, I'm STILL blessed!!! LOVE is always a gamble, but it makes this life worth livingā€¦ NEVER let loss prevent you from living or loving again.

Winston I LOVED you like NO otherā€¦ and I STILL miss you, my big beautiful boyā€¦ :cry:

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And I LOVE all of you!!! :heartsign:
 

NigelsMom

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I'm so sorry for your loss - Your baby boy will live on forever in your heart. He will come to you through Walter and you will smile again.
Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers on this difficult day.
 

brutus77

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Jul 18, 2013
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Tracey, This still breaks my heart. My family talks about Winston often. He was such a character. I agree that one dog cannot ever replace another, but I think they can help fill the holes in your heart. Bulldogs have such a wealth of love to give, to deny receiving that love would be the real tragedy. We will always remember Winston for the special little boy he was and we will continue to love Walter for the character he is and the love and healing he gives your family. Oh no, now everyone at work is going to wonder why I am sitting at my computer crying!
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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Tracey, This still breaks my heart. My family talks about Winston often. He was such a character. I agree that one dog cannot ever replace another, but I think they can help fill the holes in your heart. Bulldogs have such a wealth of love to give, to deny receiving that love would be the real tragedy. We will always remember Winston for the special little boy he was and we will continue to love Walter for the character he is and the love and healing he gives your family. Oh no, now everyone at work is going to wonder why I am sitting at my computer crying!

Thank you Rosalieā€¦ I've been off/on crying all morning :*( Sorry, I don't mean for you to get FIREDā€¦ Lol
 

brutus77

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Thank you Rosalieā€¦ I've been off/on crying all morning :*( Sorry, I don't mean for you to get FIREDā€¦ Lol
No worries! They are used to me here, they figure it is bulldog related somehow! Go hug the gator and let him give you some comfort today.
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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No worries! They are used to me here, they figure it is bulldog related somehow! Go hug the gator and let him give you some comfort today.

He did the weirdest thing just the other dayā€¦ Winston used to sit at the top of the stairs on our back deck and just LOOK at the yard for the longest time!!! Well guess what?!! Walter did the SAME thing, but he was standing on FULL ALERTā€¦ I could hardly believe my eyesā€¦ :bigeyes: It was the first time I have seen him do thatā€¦ OH and he LOVES to sleep under the Christmas tree nowā€¦ Lol Not sure how he's going to feel w/presents under there ;)
 

bullmama

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Your post brought me to tears, every moment of your journey this past year, seems like it was just yesterday- yet so long ago at the same time. :lubu:

So glad gator man brought you happiness.. Winston will be forever missed and cherished :luv:
 

Biogirl71

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Nov 5, 2010
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Nothing but hugs and thoughts for you during this day. Hopefully EBN and bulldog love from Walter can help fill the missing piece of your heart from the loss.
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
14,554
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Nashville, Tennessee
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USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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Nothing but hugs and thoughts for you during this day. Hopefully EBN and bulldog love from Walter can help fill the missing piece of your heart from the loss.

Oh absolutelyā€¦ I would be an MESS today if it wasn't for EBN & WALLYGATOR!!! :w00t:
My heart is overflowingā€¦ :heart:
 

nycbullymama

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Dec 22, 2012
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Can't believe it's been a year already. I remember that day very well and still cry when I think about it..

You need a :grouphug: . Will be thinking of you and Winston today :daisy:...
 

cali baker

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Feb 25, 2011
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Tracey, I was thinking of Winston and you yesterday. Winston will never be forgotten...he will always be in my heart, that's for sure. Lots of hugs and love to you.
:lubu:
 

Manydogs

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[MENTION=9157]ddnene[/MENTION] You have made me cry, too. I do know the pain, I have been there many times in my life,and each one is special in their own way-some more "special" than others, but all are very much loved. Some people like the people who care enough to join a site like this,know that every dog is a special individual, just as skin children are.
We go through so much pain-and so much laughter with each one. But the old saying is really true "better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." though I don't know who said it first.......
We live through it, but each one takes a piece, and each one gives a piece ===of our heart. :heart:God has blessed you, Tracey, with a very big heart. I know it is a sad day for you but Wally will see to it that you laugh today. And yes, sometimes we do see the spirit of the others still here.
 

2BullyMama

I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog?
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LOVE YOU GIRL!! Winston is always, always with you -- they all touch us in differnt ways and teach us even more!

Hopefully, Winston and Banks are sharing the space up at the bridge... she wasn't known to share too well, but maybe she found a few she can like ;)
 

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