My Biggest Regret...

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
One year ago today we lost our Bellaā€¦ it was one of the worst days of my life :( To make matters worse, I feel that I have to come clean about what happened to herā€¦ you see I'm partially to blame. I agreed to have her spayed while she had just started her heat, I had NO idea of the dangers. That is until a week later when I came on this forum, and to my HORROR I realized I had made a HUGE mistake :cry: I also made another HUGE mistake, 100% trusting in my vetā€¦ at the time I thought that Dr. Whitley was GOD when it came to my babies. BOY was I wrongā€¦

A year ago my son had JUST graduated from high school, and I was having SEVERE painā€¦ a kidney stone that had been bothering me since the beginning of the year. I had to schedule surgery to remove the damn thing, and of course my husband was scheduled to leave for work for several weeks. The day of Logan's graduation Bella started spottingā€¦ the timing couldn't of been worse. I could barely bend over I was in so much painā€¦ I called the vet to see if I could go ahead and have her spayed. I actually had Roxie spayed during her heat, and she was fineā€¦ of course she wasn't an EB. Dr. Whitley assured me that Bella would be fine, and in my mind I figured that the rest of the week my hubby could take care of me & Bella while we recovered from our surgeries, and before he left for weeks. I couldn't even comprehend what had happened when he called meā€¦ it was horrible. When I realized my mistake, I was SO ANGRYā€¦ with myself, and Dr. Whitley. What's funny is that I always GOOGLE everything, especially when it concerns my kids or petsā€¦ and this time I didn't because I was in so much pain and looped up on Loratabs. Regardless, this was MY faultā€¦ and I take full responsibility for it.

I learned some valuable lessons, NEVER spay a female in heat NO matter what your vet promises. And always trust your gut and question your damn vetā€¦ they may think they can perform miracles, truth is they can't. Own UP to your mistakesā€¦ don't try to hide behind them. I can't change what happened to Bella, but putting this out there might save another baby from the same mistake.

564064_10150976324423548_1184561618_n.jpg 149406_10151390492478548_1440441499_n-4.jpg 198238_10151540945658548_1838268720_n-4.jpg RIP my sweet girlā€¦ I'm so sorry that I made such a careless mistake, I so wish that I could change what happened but I can't :*(
 

Marine91

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Tracey i can feel the pain in your words. I wish I had the the ability to bring Bella back to you as we all know you loved her so much. Always remember we are all here for you and one another.
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
14,554
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Nashville, Tennessee
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USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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Tracey i can feel the pain in your words. I wish I had the the ability to bring Bella back to you as we all know you loved her so much. Always remember we are all here for you and one another.

I know that Todd, and I appreciate you guys so much :drawheart: I just felt it was time to tell her story, as much as it hurts...
 

Manydogs

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TRacey,
I know you have been through so much-and in a pretty short block of time. You may blame yourself/your vet-but there are many dogs who have been spayed while in heat.
They have come through it just fine. There are also dogs who have been spayed at a more appropriate time, and not made it. I know you will still feel as if it was your fault,
but, as you know things go wrong no matter how many precautions and plans for the best are made. You are definitely not alone in feeling the blame,I am one who knows, and $h!t seems to happen more to some than others. Life is a beach, and then you d. We are here for good and bad.
 

JennieS

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Jun 25, 2013
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You are incredibly brave and extremely graceful for sharing what happened with your Bella. Sending you lots of love.
 

brutus77

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Tracey, what can I say to you to make you understand that this wasn't your fault. Sometimes things happen and afterward we think, what the heck was I thinking? It seems that the fates were stacked against you from the beginning. I know this is going to sound stupid but I really believe everything happens for a reason and the reason just hasn't shown itself yet. I know this sounds harsh because who would think such a beautiful baby could be taken from you but this is really the only way that gets me through when really bad things happen. I pray you find peace and know your baby is playing with her babies free and happy.
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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TRacey,
I know you have been through so much-and in a pretty short block of time. You may blame yourself/your vet-but there are many dogs who have been spayed while in heat.
They have come through it just fine. There are also dogs who have been spayed at a more appropriate time, and not made it. I know you will still feel as if it was your fault,
but, as you know things go wrong no matter how many precautions and plans for the best are made. You are definitely not alone in feeling the blame,I am one who knows, and $h!t seems to happen more to some than others. Life is a beach, and then you d. We are here for good and bad.

Thanks Lynnā€¦
I know I can play "What Ifā€¦" forever, and I may NEVER really know what happened. The vet said that she bleed to death because of complications from her C-section, and at the time I believed him. That was until I did some researchā€¦ :bigeyes: covering his a$$ is what I have decided. I cut ties w/that clinic all together, and my babies see a vet that I KNOW does her homework. She cares about the welfare of the animalā€¦ not HOW MUCH MONEY she will get pushing a procedure or surgery...
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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Tracey, what can I say to you to make you understand that this wasn't your fault. Sometimes things happen and afterward we think, what the heck was I thinking? It seems that the fates were stacked against you from the beginning. I know this is going to sound stupid but I really believe everything happens for a reason and the reason just hasn't shown itself yet. I know this sounds harsh because who would think such a beautiful baby could be taken from you but this is really the only way that gets me through when really bad things happen. I pray you find peace and know your baby is playing with her babies free and happy.

Oh I agree w/you Rosalieā€¦ for whatever reason God put me thru this, I have yet to figure it out. Of course losing Winston was the next blowā€¦ at least I don't feel responsible for that one. What's funny is that a couple of weeks after we lost Bella was when I found EBN. Of course then I realized the mistake I had made w/Bella, but I found out so many way to help my bully babies. I just PRAY that sharing my story I can help someone else from making the same mistakes...
 

Bulldozersma

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Tracey, I am coming up on the year anniversary since losing my beloved Rampage and I feel guilt like you do that maybe I should have made better decisions or taken him to a better vet. It's so tough to look back and think "what if". I know I have those times as well. I have no doubt our pups love us and know that we would never have done anything without the best of intentions.

I wish I could write a big long, elegant email but now I'm crying. Damn, just know that everyone is here for you
 

brutus77

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:grouphug: Ok here is a group hug for all. NO MORE CRYING!! Our babies know we love them and will always try to make the best decisions on their behalf. Bulldogs are soo close to human that the result is we have the same emotions for them that we do for our skin kids. Just try to remember and embrace all the fun and craziness that we have while we have our beloved babies. Never take one day for granted.
 

NigelsMom

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I just have two words for you - - - - FORGIVE YOURSELF!

Bella loves you!
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Bulldog(s) Names
Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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Tracey, I am coming up on the year anniversary since losing my beloved Rampage and I feel guilt like you do that maybe I should have made better decisions or taken him to a better vet. It's so tough to look back and think "what if". I know I have those times as well. I have no doubt our pups love us and know that we would never have done anything without the best of intentions.

I wish I could write a big long, elegant email but now I'm crying. Damn, just know that everyone is here for you

I'm so sorry for your lossā€¦ and I'm so sorry for your regret!!! YOU gave me the next best thingā€¦ COMPASSION!!! Which we seem to lack in this society as a wholeā€¦ but at least not on here!!! :havemyheart:
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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BuddercupKelly

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Bless your hear. You and your vet do not have control over life, so don't feel guilty. You did what you thought was best for everyone at the time. Hang in there and chin up.
 

Petra

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Aww, but Tracey it's in no way your fault:assurred: You didn't know what would happen. I had no idea it was a risk spaying a dog while on heat... I remember our vet said Joey was about to go into heat when she got spayed, but he didn't mention anything about it being a danger. We didn't know her cycle cos we had just adopted her. I have made SO many mistakes with my bulldogs, SO many:ashamed:. I'm so thankful for you and all the wonderful people on EBN that shares stories and knowledge to everyone:). Many hugs to you<3
 

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