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Thread: My Biggest Regret...

  1. #25
    Dog Groomer Mia Amor's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Quote Originally Posted by ddnene View Post
    One year ago today we lost our Bella… it was one of the worst days of my life To make matters worse, I feel that I have to come clean about what happened to her… you see I'm partially to blame. I agreed to have her spayed while she had just started her heat, I had NO idea of the dangers. That is until a week later when I came on this forum, and to my HORROR I realized I had made a HUGE mistake I also made another HUGE mistake, 100% trusting in my vet… at the time I thought that Dr. Whitley was GOD when it came to my babies. BOY was I wrong…

    A year ago my son had JUST graduated from high school, and I was having SEVERE pain… a kidney stone that had been bothering me since the beginning of the year. I had to schedule surgery to remove the damn thing, and of course my husband was scheduled to leave for work for several weeks. The day of Logan's graduation Bella started spotting… the timing couldn't of been worse. I could barely bend over I was in so much pain… I called the vet to see if I could go ahead and have her spayed. I actually had Roxie spayed during her heat, and she was fine… of course she wasn't an EB. Dr. Whitley assured me that Bella would be fine, and in my mind I figured that the rest of the week my hubby could take care of me & Bella while we recovered from our surgeries, and before he left for weeks. I couldn't even comprehend what had happened when he called me… it was horrible. When I realized my mistake, I was SO ANGRY… with myself, and Dr. Whitley. What's funny is that I always GOOGLE everything, especially when it concerns my kids or pets… and this time I didn't because I was in so much pain and looped up on Loratabs. Regardless, this was MY fault… and I take full responsibility for it.

    I learned some valuable lessons, NEVER spay a female in heat NO matter what your vet promises. And always trust your gut and question your damn vet… they may think they can perform miracles, truth is they can't. Own UP to your mistakes… don't try to hide behind them. I can't change what happened to Bella, but putting this out there might save another baby from the same mistake.

    Attachment 72745 Attachment 72746 Attachment 72747 RIP my sweet girl… I'm so sorry that I made such a careless mistake, I so wish that I could change what happened but I can't
    That was very sweet and brave. That made me cry. You can see and hear in your words how hurt you are over it till this day. I'm very sorry to hear that he made it seem ok. Thank you for telling your story there are a lot of new bulldog owners like me with a girl and with out your story I would have never known before hand. Like they say knowledge is power and you now have saved a lot of girl bulldogs from going under. Thank you for sharing and bless your baby girl Bella.

    Sent from S4 (Mia)

  2. #26
    Baxter Tiberius
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    @ddnene

    Based on your description it sounds like it wasn't even 1% your fault.

    1) You didn't know. Therefore not your fault.
    2) You usually Google, but this time you didn't due to meds and pain. Therefore not your fault.
    3) You trusted your doctor, like you're supposed to be able to. Therefore not your fault.

    There's nothing to own up to. You were a character in the story of what happened. Not the cause of what happened.

  3. #27
    EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB Become a 4 Paw Member
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    ddnene's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia Amor View Post
    That was very sweet and brave. That made me cry. You can see and hear in your words how hurt you are over it till this day. I'm very sorry to hear that he made it seem ok. Thank you for telling your story there are a lot of new bulldog owners like me with a girl and with out your story I would have never known before hand. Like they say knowledge is power and you now have saved a lot of girl bulldogs from going under. Thank you for sharing and bless your baby girl Bella.

    Sent from S4 (Mia)
    Thank you for your sweet words Yvette… that is my HOPE that I can at least save one baby from the same fate.

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

  4. #28
    EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB Become a 4 Paw Member
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    ddnene's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Quote Originally Posted by Baxter Tiberius View Post
    @ddnene

    Based on your description it sounds like it wasn't even 1% your fault.

    1) You didn't know. Therefore not your fault.
    2) You usually Google, but this time you didn't due to meds and pain. Therefore not your fault.
    3) You trusted your doctor, like you're supposed to be able to. Therefore not your fault.

    There's nothing to own up to. You were a character in the story of what happened. Not the cause of what happened.
    Thank you Kevin… you put this in simple terms, and it does make sense

    "What we once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." Helen Keller
    RIP Wellie, Bella, Winston & Roxie

  5. #29
    Norwegian Rose Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Aww Tracey, stop beating yourself up for what happened to Bella, this is absolutely not your fault. You did everything you could for Bella, and you trusted the advice of your vet that she would be okay. You are not a vet, and could not know that this was dangerous. You trusted what your vet said, and did the surgery thinking that this was best for her, and the right thing to do. You could not have known that something would happen, and you had spayed Roxie with no problems, so you thought it was going to be okay. Please forgive yourself, you would never have done anything to hurt your baby, it was just a very sad and tragic thing that happened, and nothing that you did. I hope you stop blaming yourself, and feeling guilty, Bella knows you loved her.
    LEARN A LESSON FROM YOUR DOG, NO MATTER WHAT LIFE BRINGS YOU, KICK SOME GRASS OVER THAT AND MOVE ON.

  6. #30
    I'm Polish what did you expect! A lady like person? Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Hun , i know it is easier to say than done but you need to stop taking the blame (partial or not) for what happened -on the end of the day you trusted your vet judgment and sadly things dont work out-i also believe that things happen for a reason -and looked like angels wanted your sweet baby with them .
    What makes me sad is the fact that you have an awful year and i hope and pray that things will improve for you xx
    We all love you Tracey xxx
    "I use search option before posting new thread "
    Rest In Peace Winston xxx

    Shy & Lilly


  7. #31
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    From what i have read here and in other threads, you my friend gave every ounce of love to those you care, for putting yourself last. Do not play the if game be in the here and now educate like you have been doing so many of us have and soon even more will benefit from your wisdom and passion. They know we love them even now and 10 years from now. My sympathy and my kick in your rear Love Yourself

  8. #32
    Dog Groomer Samantha Orts's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Wish I could give you a big hug!

  9. #33
    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Tracey -- i so wish i had a time machine for you.....
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your lif
    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




  10. #34
    Bulldog Vet in Training Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    Aww Tracey, this breaks my heart. Sweetie, you didn't KNOW it was not a good idea to spay her during heat. I know that if you could go back and change ONE THING that would be it.

    HUgs to you, my dear...don't beat yourself up over it...I have to believe that as much as you wanted her with you, God wanted her more.

    RIP Samson el Torito and Petunia Belle
    May 20, 2000 - June 06, 2008 and November 16, 2004 - April 10, 2015

  11. #35
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    Default Re: My Biggest Regret...

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and can imagine very well how you feel in the light of my latest incident with Usko. All we can do is what we think is the best thing to do with the knowledge we have at that time. Let's make a deal...you don't blame yourself and I don't blame myself....

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