A month ago...

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
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Jun 19, 2013
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
It was a month ago yesterday that we lost our Winston… my daughter had her birthday party in Nashville so I'm grateful that I wasn't at home thinking about it all day long :( Still so many unanswered questions, but I'm coming to peace w/all of it. Winston's regular vet has NOT even called me to offer condolences or even ask about what happened… and the surgeon has NOT called me back either. I think this alone speaks volumes about their character… I know they may feel bad, but it's insensitive to me & my family.

I want to THANK all of you that continue to message me, or check up on me… I'm doing okay!!! I miss him horribly, but I have moments of sweet memories & laughter. Thank GOD for that… LOL

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2BullyMama

I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog?
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:hug: focus on those good memories! They bring warmth to the heart and happy tears to your eyes!
 

nycbullymama

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Dec 22, 2012
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You are so not alone. You know your EBN family is right here with you. Like [MENTION=2894]2BullyMama[/MENTION] said, "focus on theose good memories". :angelhug:
 

Vikinggirl

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Aww Tracey I'm so glad that you can remember those good and happy memories and get comfort from them. Hold on to those memories, and he will always be with you. You're right about your vet, it is very insensitive and heartless that they haven't called, or even sent a card of condolence to acknowledge your pain and loss of Winston. Some of that may be that they are afraid of legal repercussions, or admitting guilt in what happened. But that still is no excuse to not at least show remorse or to be sorry for what happened or to acknowledge how you and your are feeling.
 

Manydogs

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Hello Tracey,
I know you will never forget Winston. Yes, you have to dwell on the GOOD memories. I made myself a sign, that I read every day to try and get through. It says"

" Don't cry because it's over-SMILE because it happened." That is the only way we can deal with some things. :heart:as you know, only too well. Prayers,Lynn
 

bullmama

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:grouphug: hugs and thinking of you and him everyday.... Those happy memories are the ones he wants you to remember.... :grouphug:


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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
Staff member
Jun 19, 2013
14,554
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Nashville, Tennessee
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Bulldog(s) Names
Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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Aww Tracey I'm so glad that you can remember those good and happy memories and get comfort from them. Hold on to those memories, and he will always be with you. You're right about your vet, it is very insensitive and heartless that they haven't called, or even sent a card of condolence to acknowledge your pain and loss of Winston. Some of that may be that they are afraid of legal repercussions, or admitting guilt in what happened. But that still is no excuse to not at least show remorse or to be sorry for what happened or to acknowledge how you and your are feeling.

Monica, I got a card from the clinic when I picked up Winston's ashes. The vet didn't even sign it, his wife had just had their first baby… and yes I get it, the holiday & a new baby he was busy. But the emergency clinic sent a letter of what happened to him & the surgeon so I KNOW that he is aware of what happened. He was also our neighbor when we lived at our old house… he knows my kids, and our entire family. He didn't do the surgery, he referred me to VOS… I understand that vets deal w/death daily, and maybe you become normalized to it. BUT we WERE above board clients at that clinic… sorry, I think that as a vet you should acknowledge some kind of humanity in this type of circumstance.
 

Vikinggirl

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You're absolutely right Tracey, especially since you had a closer relationship with him, and he knew your family, a little bit of compassion, heart and some kind words or a hug always help, and they don't cost anything, but can bring so much comfort to a person.
 

AubreysMom

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Wow! I can't believe the vet didn't even send a card. When our Aubrey passed, our regular vet's office sent a card signed by the one vet there who finally sent us to the vet school for testing. Totally unexpected since we only saw her that one time. The staff at the vet school sent us a book signed by all the staff who took care of her. You'd think even though they do deal with this so much that they would at least automatically send a card or something. That's good customer service... and having a freakin' heart!

I know it's tough and honestly, it's almost two years later and I still get upset about Aubrey sometimes. But like everyone else has said, focus on the good memories. Let the pain out when you need to, but turn around and focus on the happy times. Winston would want that. :hug:
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
Staff member
Jun 19, 2013
14,554
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Nashville, Tennessee
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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Wow! I can't believe the vet didn't even send a card. When our Aubrey passed, our regular vet's office sent a card signed by the one vet there who finally sent us to the vet school for testing. Totally unexpected since we only saw her that one time. The staff at the vet school sent us a book signed by all the staff who took care of her. You'd think even though they do deal with this so much that they would at least automatically send a card or something. That's good customer service... and having a freakin' heart!

I know it's tough and honestly, it's almost two years later and I still get upset about Aubrey sometimes. But like everyone else has said, focus on the good memories. Let the pain out when you need to, but turn around and focus on the happy times. Winston would want that. :hug:

I agree… the more I think about our vet & the surgeon's reaction to this, the angrier I get!!! I've never got a card or anything from the surgery clinic either… I guess she's worried I'm going to sue them or something. God what has happened to some people, are we just so afraid of death that we can't even acknowledge it anymore?!! I hope I never become that jaded...
 

2BullyMama

I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog?
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Chelios (Frenchie), Nitschke (2004-2011) Banks (2005-2014) and Lambeau (2014-2024)
I agree… the more I think about our vet & the surgeon's reaction to this, the angrier I get!!! I've never got a card or anything from the surgery clinic either… I guess she's worried I'm going to sue them or something. God what has happened to some people, are we just so afraid of death that we can't even acknowledge it anymore?!! I hope I never become that jaded...


I am am really floored that you got nothing form them.... Nitschke was at the ER vet for a total of 15 mins, if that, before he passed....the tech was in the room crying with us, the vet that worked on him for those few mins came out and hugged and gave condolences. The receptionist was crying when we came up to schedule his cremation and pay. Then our vet office, sent us flowers in the shape of a dog, two cards and out vet called us , cried with us on the phone and answered every question we had and fully explained all that took place that day. I so wish I could clone him... He is just so into what he does and the passion is contagious.
 

RiiSi

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:hug2:Always remember the good times. Also if in need of a vet remember who not to turn to.
 
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ddnene

ddnene

EBN's SWEETHEART aka our little GOOB
Staff member
Jun 19, 2013
14,554
1,249
Nashville, Tennessee
Country
USA
Bulldog(s) Names
Willow (2015) Walter (2014-22) Winston (2012-13) Wellie (2012-13) Bella (2007-13)
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  • #15
I am am really floored that you got nothing form them.... Nitschke was at the ER vet for a total of 15 mins, if that, before he passed....the tech was in the room crying with us, the vet that worked on him for those few mins came out and hugged and gave condolences. The receptionist was crying when we came up to schedule his cremation and pay. Then our vet office, sent us flowers in the shape of a dog, two cards and out vet called us , cried with us on the phone and answered every question we had and fully explained all that took place that day. I so wish I could clone him... He is just so into what he does and the passion is contagious.

The surgeon & her assistant followed me to the ER… they were both crying along w/me as I was laying over Winston's body. She was visibly upset, and she did call me the very next day… but I wasn't ready to talk to her at that point, I was still in shock. The emergency vet at the ER was amazing… put me & Winston in a private room (they laid him on a blanket on this leather couch right next to me which shocked me really… LOL) offered to make phone calls for me, and really did NOT want me driving by myself for the hour ride home. I remember watching several white boxes leaving the clinic that night, and I said to her "I don't really know how you can do this job" and she said to me… "Well if I can just save at least one of them then it was worth it…". I agreed, and honestly if this girl was 23 years old I would of been surprised… She showed me more compassion that the other vets I had been dealing with.
 

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