Sitting at work reading this and cried!! so very sorry!
Last night I did the impossible, I said goodbye to my son, my best friend, the most special dog I have ever met that stole my heart from day one. It all started the end of last week, Samson started throwing up on and off. This is not uncommon, Samson has a sensitive stomach and as I understand that is pretty common with bulldogs. He gets sick for a few days, I put him on a bland diet, give him some plain pedialyte to rehydrate him and within a week he's as good as new. Well on Monday night when I got home I was alarmed with how weak he was, this wasn't his typical sad face I have a tummy ache act, he was weak and I was worried. I was debating about when to take him in. I gave him a bath (needs at least once a week to keep the skin infections at bay) and he acted a little nutty afterwards like dogs typically do after baths and was excited to get his ball (he always gets his kong ball after baths to keep him busy and from licking his paws). This made me feel better so I decided to see how he was in the morning. The next morning, Tuesday, he was really weak so as soon as my vet opened I called and got an appointment for 2pm. Went to work from 8am-12pm, came home and it was just awful. He would just stand there swaying, not wanting to lay down, eyes half shut, it was horrible and I noticed his skin was real yellow. Not sure how long it had been like that because I hadn't noticed until then. We get to the vet and as soon as the vet saw his skin he was pretty sure it was liver failure. They take blood tests, liver failure, all the values for the liver were real high. Then we get an xray, fluid around the lungs and building in his belly, vet says it is consistent with liver disease/failure. I was faced with putting him down or leaving him for hospitalization to see if fluids, antibiotics and medicines could help. We got a 50/50 chance at best. Dave and I chose to try to save him, neither of us could see it any other way. Samson spent 24 hours in the hospital, they did a variety of tests trying to find if there was a way to reverse it and did a variety of treatments. He got worse and worse and each test came back with grim results. Yesterday at around noon my vet said at the very best be was down to a 20% chance of pulling through and that he said was optimistic. He was suffering, fluid kept building up in his belly and around his lungs making it hard for him to breathe. So I made the toughest choice of my life and decided to end the suffering. Dave and I were able to spend 45 minutes in an exam room with Samson last night loving him up and talking to him. Dave even played Samson the song Joker by Steve Miller Band, for those who haven't heard the stories or seen the videos Samson would howl (not sure how he learned to howl) to that song like crazy. He even let out the tiniest like noise when it was playing, we just knew he wanted to sing along just didn't have the strength. My brother-in-law, Dave's little brother Steven, even joined us half way through. He loved Samson, he has puppy sat for us many times and Samson was also particularly fond of Steven. So in his last moments Samson was with people who loved him greatly and that he loved in return. I layed on the floor of that animal hospital, Samson laying on towels next to me, we were face to face, his face cupped in my hands as he left us. Our vet was petting him the whole time on his side and Dave held his little leg. We are having him cremated, getting those ashes back and they did a paw print in plaster for us. It was the toughest thing I've ever done, I have never been so heart broken in my life and I am not sure what I'll do without him. 7 and a half years we've spent together. I've got family and friends hundreds of miles away, friends and family I rarely speak to anymore, a husband that leaves for long weekends and my little beagley who often would rather be cruising the backyard that hanging out inside with me but Samson was always there, right there by my side day in and day out. I'm not sure how to deal without his love and companionship.
"Looking at a bulldog is said to cure the worse of the blues, living with one, serves to prevent them!" -Author unknown
Sitting at work reading this and cried!! so very sorry!
Its so hard being the queen!!!
i am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
Bulldogs are like potato chips. You just can't stop with one.
Tessa... I am so very, very sorry for your loss -- it is a heart break that no one can understand, but unfortunately I do -- he will ALWAYS be with you.
Hugs and prayers to you. Rest in peace sweet Samson... Mommy will mis you dearly.
There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your life.
Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings
Oh my GOD, my heart is so aching for you. I am crying,too. I have been there and I know the horrible pain you are suffering. Just know that letting him go was the worst thing for you, but the most loving thing you could have done for your beloved baby. People are left to suffer unimaginable pain, but the most loving thing we can do for our "pets"(to us- our children) is to make the choice to give them the "gift" of letting them go to a peaceful pain free place. Think of the wonderful times you had with your best friend, and all the good things and how lucky you were to be with him, the years you had together. I have been there-on the floor, at the vets with a much loved best friend. Nothing can stop the hurt you feel-but yyou must THANK GOD for the time you had. That is the only way you can get through the pain.I am so sorry for your painful loss. Take solace in the fact that he was with his loving family and did not go alone.....You did the BEST you could for your love.He has crossed the RAINBOW BRIDGE and will meet you again someday!
“It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough,all the components of my heart will be dog,and I will become as generous and loving as they are"
Oh honey...my heart is breaking for you. Sending my prayers and condolences to you on your loss. Rest in Peace Samson.
Always in my heart and never far from my thoughts. See you at the rainbow bridge my sweet little Monkey. R.I.P. Raven.
Oh Tessa. My sincere condolences. I know how much Samson meant to you and Dave. He was your absolute rock and your very best friend. He also knew you both loved him with every piece of your heart. I hope that comforts you in this sad time. xoxo
"I am normally not a praying man, but if you really are up there, please save me Superman!'' - Homer J. Simpson
So very very sorry for your loss. My heart hurts for you. God be with you and will be praying for you.
I sit in tears just imagining your heartbreak. I am so very sorry for your loss. Samson is in a better place with no pain. He will forever be in your heart. I am thinking of you and praying for your family in this terrible time.
Oh my gosh... I'm sitting here crying with you... I am SO sorry!
Dear Tessa, my heart just breaks for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know Samson was your best friend and loving companion. He had such a good life with you as his momma and I know he will always be by your side. My sincere condolences to you, my friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss .I am at work crying my heart out . I lossed my 8 year old bully in the spring . They will alway be in your heart .. I feel your pain. Mybe Rocky and Samon will find each other to play with at rain bow bridge...take care