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Thread: my Sweetie Head...

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    My Bully Gave Me Wings Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default my Sweetie Head...

    This is my first visit to the memorial forums. At first, in the beginning, I couldn't click here because I knew that my own memorial could be any day and I couldn't face it. Then when that day came I couldn't cry anymore. I couldn't share your losses because I hadn't accepted my own. I still can't.

    I'm still struggling with the loss of my Sweetie Head. I still can't breathe. It hurts to breath. I keep looking for her but she's not there. Every day it gets harder and harder to live without her. That place in my heart where she used to live is just a hole, a big black hole sucking up the universe, getting bigger and bigger each day.

    Guilt. I have so much guilt. Did I do the right things? Did I do enough? and the "what if's" are eating me alive. What if I'd insisted on an iv flush sooner? What if I'd just given her that canned prescription food? What if I'd doubled her coQ10? What if the had another miracle left in her? What if I acted too soon? Would she still be here today?

    That baby girl defied the odds for so long. It all went to hell in a week. One week! One Thursday she was diving onto Oti's head from the couch, the next Friday she was gone. What didn't I do? What did I do wrong? I had to have done something wrong for it to happen so fast. My son keeps telling me that she was born with a timer over her head. That every day she had was borrowed, another day stolen from death. Was she just tired of fighting? Did she give up? Or did I?

    I've been hoarding this video for months. I can't take my eyes off of it. I watch it all day long. Maybe it's time to share it. You can see her change so much in such a short time, at the end she looked so old and tired. Not at all like a baby should look.

    13 months. She should have gotten more than 13 months. It's just not right.



    For me, her name was Abby
    10/24/2011 - 11/23/1012


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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful memorial with us.

    We too also went through a huge loss last summer with the sudden passing of Heff. Heff was also way to young to die.

    You need to take comfort in knowing that yes Abby's life her on earth may have been way to short but luckily for Abby each day she did have was with a very loving caring family. Sadly allot of pets on earth can not say that.

    I know for us after losing Heff I swore never ever again would I ever own a pet....8 days later in walks Lulu into our life! Lulu is no Heff but I always tell me wife that I am sure she is a reincarnation of Heff in certain ways.

    Sorry I wish I could say more to help ease your pain.

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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    .... without you, Bev... she would most likely have not had those wonderful 13 months. others would have given up FAR before or never even tried. she knew you LOVED her and you did everything right.

    LOVE you....

    It has been a 18 months for me having lost Nitshcke.,.. the pain never leaves and the tears always flow -- do not let anyone tell you any different
    Last edited by 2BullyMama; 04-27-2013 at 06:15 PM.
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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    oh bev what a beautiful memorial to a very special bully. there is nothing i can say that can take this away so ill just be here for you and you from afar.

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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    You guy's are kill'n me here. I'm so sorry for all pain you are enduring
    Life is like a box of chocolate covered

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    Default

    Bev, I watched the video, tears flowing. I know you doubt yourself, but all I see and will ever see is someone who loved her more than any other person in this world could have. Your devotion to her was something I cannot even put into words to others. However it was something I felt in every word you typed. Abby was brought to you and you to her, I believe this with all my heart. I don't think there is not a soul on here that did not fall in love with Abby and her journey, and also your fight for her. I am blessed to have met her on here and also to have met you.

    It does suck and its not fair, but I will never believe you did something wrong. I don't think you will ever stop doubting because its too hard not to think that way, and it crushes me to think you feel this way. We love you and sweetyhead forever, and from where I stand you will always be on a pedestal for all you have given her. All that love. She knew it too.


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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    WOW, very hard for me to hold back the tears, that was a great memorial video, and the song was perfect. You should never second guess yourself, as you gave her a wonderful life and extended her life longer than anyone could, even the vets. You gave her more time here then she would have had with anyone and you gave her all the love she could get. She had a happy and loving life and she knew she was loved. She is looking down from Rainbow Bridge all healthy and playing up there and will see you again one day and she will be healthy and happy to see you and give you kisses. She was so beautiful and so precious. I know it hurts now, but one day you will see her sweet face again.
    Last edited by Davidh; 04-27-2013 at 05:44 PM.
    Have a Great Bully Day.
    Member of The Bulldog Club of America, The Bulldog Club of Texas and French Bulldog Club of America.
    Bully hugs from - BeBe, Hazel, Lucy Lu, JLO, Hillary, Henri & Katie


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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    I'm sorry I bolted and ran, you guy's are killin me is not a proper response. As all of us watched you extend Abby's life past her first birthday was really more than anyone could ask for, you too are my hero and I hold you up on a pedestal. Second guessing yourself is something we all live with, I second guess myself with my kids that are gone, if only I would've done this or that, or maybe, or why. We have no answers, only memories and the holes in our hearts. It hurts like nothing ever will, it's everyday and it's every year. Trust me darling, I admire the feistiness you gave Abby and she knew she was loved, how could she not know? You and Abby left a mark in all our hearts and the timing of the precious video is spot on. It's a wonderful reminder of everything we do for the love of our fur kids. If only every pet would have this kind of care the world would be a better place for it. God Bless you Bev, and Sweetie Head
    @Twice
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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    Dear Bev,
    you DID do everything you possibly could , everything that was in your power. You did try hard enough, she did know she was loved, you gave her the 13 months she would not have had otherwise.
    My heart is broken for your loss, and for your anguish and guilt. Abby knew you loved her, she felt it in every little bone of her body. I am sure she is with you and loving you and wishing you would not blame yourself because sometimes they need angels in heaven, so that she can watch over you.
    This tribute is beautiful, and clearly shows how much she was loved and how you cared for her. She knows....she is watching it too, and thanking you for every moment of her life that you made possible.

    You will meet again, because I believe we have soul mates in everyone we love, human OR animal, and that we are always reunited.

    Hugging you xox
    My whole world

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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    A beautiful tribute to a wonderful life - you gave her everything you could and now she's healthy and whole again, waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge/

    "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
    Bentley (5.24.04 - 6.26.10) & Linus (1.10.06 - 7.31.13)

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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...



    Sweet Bev...
    That you would share this with us is so generous. Not surprising though, after all, your love and life with Miss Abby was ruled by giving. You see Bev, you GAVE her the chance to live at all. You GAVE her the strength to learn and be a wonderful girl. You GAVE her the chance to breathe the air and smell the flowers. You GAVE her time. You GAVE her permission to be herself. But most of all, Bev, you GAVE her Your heart, soul and being. When her time came, you GAVE her enough love to last until you see her again. Now..please Sweet Bev, give yourself the peace and knowledge that comes with knowing you did it ALL. That hole in your heart isn't supposed to go away. But over time, it will become one with Abby..solid and strong, just like you.


  12. #12
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    Default Re: my Sweetie Head...

    I would also like to add, as someone who has lost a bully, that one day you will look at those photos and they will make you smile and laugh because the sadness fades, but the wonderful love and memories that you and Abby shared are forever.

    "I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
    Bentley (5.24.04 - 6.26.10) & Linus (1.10.06 - 7.31.13)

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