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Thread: My heart still aches

  1. #13
    Texas Carol....put the heart in EBN Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    Leslie, I'm very sorry to hear about Abby's passing and so many heart wrenching
    losses yet to deal with, I know it's so very, very hard and sad. Life can be so hard
    and cruel to us but yet, you are strong enough to get thru these trials and when
    you are ready, to move forward with life.

    I drove my husband to the ER and let him out at the door to park the truck. When
    I walked in, 5 minutes later, he was dead, he'd dropped at the admittance desk and
    altho they worked on him for almost 2 hours, they never got him back. Like you, it
    haunted me that I hadn't said goodbye or said, I love you before he went. This was
    6 months ago, we had just moved for his new job, 5 hrs from our home and so I had
    to move back to our house without him, Mother had a mental breakdown and as a
    result, went into a deeper stage of Alzheimer's, my newly adopted bully of 6 months
    died as a result of surgery, 4 months after losing Stuart. Brutus was so helpful in
    getting me thru the crushing grief & horror I felt and from the instant we met, loved
    each other as if we'd been together for years, when Brutus died, I grieved as deeply
    as if I'd raised him from a puppy. I buried him in my side yard beneath a big tree and
    underneath my bedroom window so this will be his forever home...as I had promised.

    We did not have to have said goodbye or I love you...it goes w/out saying by now, they
    know it, we know it, everyone knows it. We said it every day, several times a day to them.
    And, if GOD said to you, "I'm going to give you, Abby but you'll only have her 13 years."
    you know you'd still (knowing everything) would have taken her and would do so, again
    and again. How wonderful you had her for so long and had her love and she...yours.

    Leslie, I'm almost 7 months into all these tragedies and I'm still doing and thinking as you
    stated, it's a NORMAL part of grief and I second guessed myself crazy...it will pass and it
    will ease with time. It'll take time to accept these things that happened and still continuing
    and find acceptance then peace with them but you will. Please do what you must to express
    your grief, allow yourself to grieve and be kind, gentle and compassionate with yourself as
    you would with a loved one...remember all you've ever said to comfort and console someone,
    then tell it to yourself!

    Our loved ones are whole, happy and waiting for us in time, it WAS Abby's time to go and you
    did what a loving Mom would do for her, your final act of care for her and the right one.

    GOD bless you, HE is with you thru this and everything, HE is aware of your brokeness and
    holds you while you cry. Lean on Him, cry out to Him...Leslie, you ARE His beloved...never
    forget that, HE will see you thru this and beyond. GOD is good and so will life be again for you.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and in my prayers, Leslie. Much love, Carol


    My 1st bully, Brutus
    RIP beloved boy.

  2. #14
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    This was hard to read knowing that a dear friend is in so much pain. So much loss to endure, how much can one heart take? They say bad things happen in threes, so I hope this is the last of the heartache you will have to endure for a very long time, but unfortunately the pain of your losses will go on. I wish I had the magic words to make it better, but just know that we are here with you, hugging your broken heart from a far. You made the right choice for Abby, she knows how much you loved her and hopefully during these sad moments you can relive some of your happy moments together, and smile, if only for a moment, at the love she brought you all of those years.




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  3. #15
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    I am so sorry for your loss, but you did the right thing. She will always be in your heart.Hopefully there is a limit to one persons heartache and you will have only happiness in the future.

  4. #16
    Bully lov'in wonder from down under Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    Leslie I am so upset reading your post that you have lost poor Abby, and yes you did do the right thing for Abby even thou at times you will feel you have not this is normal Richard and I was only talking yesterday did we do the right thing when we put our pug Pugsley to sleep in 2004 at age 13 he had a stroke we went on for about three days and the same as Abby could not get up and wee or anything just laid there all day and night and that is no life for anyone and then just six weeks later I had another horrible decision on my shoulders do i end my mothers life she was on life support after an operation and I still ask myself every day did I do the right thing even thou deep down I know we did, just the same as you have done the right thing fr Abby.
    I am also very sad for you in losing your partner, but Leslie these times are to test us and life will soon look up for you in this department Ftse and I send you and Bella some very big in your very sad time and know that we are all here to listen to you.

  5. #17
    I wear my bulldog heart on my sleeve Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Everyone has said more then I can even think right now. I can't stop crying <3.

    We <3 you so much!

    You will be in my prayers.

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    Colonel 5 yrs old (2011 - Current) -- Ella May 3 yrs old (2012 - Current)
    RIP~ Bebe (2011-2014) 9 yrs old

  6. #18
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    Praying for comfort for your heartache.

  7. #19
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    I really really feel for you, 14 months ago my baileys passed away. I still think I ll open the door and she ll be there.
    You were both lucky to have found each other. Think of the good times you both had.
    Your baby's not suffering anymore xx

  8. #20
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    oh leslie dear as i sit here trying to type through my tears and sorrow for you just know that you did the right thing for abby. you will probably always question it but i think deep down you know it was her time. i so hope that your heart heals soon and that these things going on in your life will get better. you know that your partner leaving was a blessing in disquise to you as well she wasnt the same person she was when you met. just know me and sarah are here with

  9. #21
    I couldn't make this sh*t up if I tried! Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    It has all been said above, know that you are in my thoughts and prayers during this tough time in your life. You are loved by many.

  10. #22
    The Ultimate Sourmug nycbullymama's Avatar
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    I'm so very sorry for everything you're going through right now. Just the thought of losing my pup brings me to tears.
    Good thing is it sounds like you have a great support system between your son and friend. They'll help you get through this .


  11. #23
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    I am so so sorry for your loss and the events that happened. There isn't anything else I can say that hasn't been said already. I'm just so sorry
    "The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

  12. #24
    I'm not OCD....now who moved my bulldog? I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: My heart still aches

    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    There is a part of your heart not alive until a bulldog has entered your lif
    e.

    Nitschke (2004-2011) and Banks (2005-2014) -- My angels
    Thank you for all the love, fun and teachings




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