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Thread: Dear Maggie,

  1. #1
    ..........
    Real Name
    Karen
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    Grafton, OHIO
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    Maggie (My Angel Baby 5/31/2012). Daddy (2 years). Linus (1year). Bella (4 years)
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    Default Dear Maggie,

    Dear Maggie,

    I remember sitting in the mexican restaurant when my husband suggested that we should stop by the pet store on the way home. I knew that he and my daughter, Juliet, had been in earlier during the week to buy food for her hamster so assumed that maybe they needed something. But no, as we walked back to the car ... after I had agreed to go ... he told me about this bulldog they had seen. He said that they had taken you out and played with you for a while, but as they had left he looked back to the little display cage where they had put you and although you had your back to him, you were looking over your shoulder and watched him leave. He was SO hooked!! And although we didn't know it at the time ...this was to become your signature pose.

    As we drove to the pet store he told me that if you were still there that we would be leaving with you. I laughed because we had five dogs already and had promised ourselves that was enough. PLUS bulldogs were very expensive. One hour later, we were walking out with you in my arms.

    You were such a character from the very start and seemed to have this aura around you that affected everybody you came into contact with. For the first two weeks when friends and family came to see the new puppy .. even the people who didn't really like dogs seemed to leave with this soppy smile on this face and expressed how much they loved our Maggie Meatball.

    After living with us for two weeks, you fell down our stairs and broke your leg. I remember my husband on the phone telling me I had to meet him at the vets. By the time I got there he was crying, the vet was crying, and despite the pain killers you were making this haunting cry that hit me deep into my very soul. We rushed you to the specialists in Akron where they admitted you for surgery. You left with a pin and two screws in your elbow ... and an audience of every single receptionist and vet tech coming to kiss you goodbye. In the follow up visits, the adoration never seemed to fade away. As always you captured the hearts of those who came in contact with you.

    Over the next two years we struggled with some stomach problems but it was a second bout of masticatory muscle myositis that drove me to look for solutions. I dreaded your little jaw becoming locked again for a third year and this search brought me to EBN. It was with horror that I came to realise that you were almost certainly a puppy mill baby, and even worse that I had been feeding you utter crap for the first two years of your life. With Fromm came a new start for us. You never did come down with MMM again, and remained virtually problem free until three weeks ago.

    Looking back I know that you had seemed more withdrawn but after a bout of reverse sneezing whilst you were eating, I mentioned to my husband that I hoped you had not aspirated. Well you had, and after thinking for a couple of days it was mainly allergies, it became very apparent that it was not and so off to the vets you went where they took x-rays of the lungs and you were diagnosed with pneumonia. For the first time I slept without you next to me as they kept you in for breathing treatments. You were sent home with strict instructions about no dry food, raised bowls etc. The antibiotics ended and we were free and clear ............Yay!!

    Three days later you sounded congested and started to cough. My husband took you in and they took further x-rays that came back clear, however your lymph nodes in your neck were swollen, and so were the ones in the groin/knee area. Apparently this was not a good sign so they took a biopsy. It was a thursday night and on my way home from work my husband called to say that you had both got home but would say nothing else. Said that we would talk when I got home. Deep deep deep in my heart I knew there was something much worse to come, and when I walked in the door and he said you had cancer ... at that moment I think my world started to crumble around me.

    Chemotherapy was an option but it would be painful, and lymphoma can not be beaten it can only be kept at bay. Chemotherapy may have given us an extra few months with you but you would have suffered. Second option was prednisone .. we took it.

    Unable to accept it, I searched the internet for cancer beating foods and so started the Maggie "crack" diet that you loved so much. Full of all those wonderful cancer beating foods that would at least keep the cancer stagnant or slow moving.

    Our next move was to consult a wonderful Vet that not only graduated with honours from vet med school but had also trained in traditional chinese medicine. We had hope ... we thought we could keep our baby with us just a little longer.

    It was not to be ...we went to bed wednesday night, the three of us. On thursday morning when I went to work your breathing was incredibly labored. Tom made an appointment with the vet for 10.30 but you deteriorated so quickly he took you in earlier. I got the call to come to the vets. It was time because there was no longer anything else they could do. Exactly three weeks after you were diagnosed you left us.

    We don't have children together .. but you became that child to us. You were the hope, light, and inspiration that all parents look for in a child. Just as you walked into a room and seemed to command love, you walked into our lives and received our love.

    I have moved on from the agony of despair, to the numbness of disbelief .. I still turn round because I suddenly think I hear you breathing only to find you are not there. I have yet to get used to sleeping without being forced to the edge of the bed. And I miss your gentle snoring that became the lullaby to send me to sleep.

    I know that one day this emptiness will start to fade away slightly, and I will be left with good memories. And I do long for that day to come.

    But until that happens my darling sweet girl, my Maggie, I am sure you already know how much you were loved and how much you are and always will be a part of me.

    You left your pawprint on my soul.

  2. #2
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    Jenn
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    Default

    Wow. Well now I am balling. That was beautiful and heart wrenching. : hug:

    Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

  3. #3
    Queenie I am an EBN Reporter
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    JeannieCO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    Oh Karen, that was beautiful!
    Three Hooligans and 1 Angel - Wilson, Sally, Emma & Jack

  4. #4
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    AubreysMom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,



    Maggie was so loved and I know she had no doubt about it. She was so lucky to have a family that loved her so much.

  5. #5
    The Ultimate Sourmug Sherry's Avatar
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    Sherry Daye S.
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    That was Beautiful...... I hope that one day this hole left in your hearts will be nothing more than sweet sweet memories. You have been blessed with Maggie's love
    Life is like a box of chocolate covered

  6. #6
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    Becky
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    Karen...your sweet Maggie was such a lucky girl. I believe we are matched with souls of our critters to learn from THEM. Often, it takes years to know what they taught us. It's obvious Maggie Meatball did her job well. it wont be long and you will smile when you see her pictures and her memory floods your heart. She will forever be a part of you.

    Im hoping she likes large orange tabby cats....because he is waiting to play.

  7. #7
    Pistol Packing Bullyagrapher Become a 4 Paw Member
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    Libra926's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    Oh my. Such beautiful words. Isn't it amazing how when writing from our hearts, our words turn out so beautifully? It's their hearts and their love that make it so easy. Their hearts and their unconditional love that make our darkest days seem lighter. That's what you hold onto. The hurt, the emptiness, the feeling of despair... slowly that will all diminish as her memory, her photos and the stories of her life return and take center. I can't even imagine how you feel. I'm devastated that something so horrible happened to such a young, joyous soul.

    All my love to you and your family during this time.

  8. #8
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    RiiSi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    So sorry to hear about your loss Maggie had enough love for more than one life time.

  9. #9
    Rescue Volunteer acarabias's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    That is beautiful Karen! No words can make you feel better but do know that Maggie knew from that very day at the petstore that she belinged with you and enjoyed every day she got to spend with you. She will forever be missed and remembered by you an everyone she touched! <3

    Eagerly and Nervously awaiting the homecoming of Bruno Cannoli

  10. #10
    BullyWood Movie Star Fontanafox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    Beautiful Maggie. I will keep her in my memories.
    Wilson & BabyGirl

  11. #11
    ink-a-licious redhead bully mama Become a 4 Paw Member
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    agingermom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    @kazzy220 That was beautiful and heart wrenching. I can barely type through my tears for you and Maggie. Everyday, Arnold hooks my heart even more. In fact, this weekend this jerk (my friends husband) made a comment about Arnold and I almost came unglued. One of my friends told him, "Don't you understand. That dog is like her kid." And that sums it up, except that DOG is my kid. We get up with them all night long when they are pups and fret when they are sick. Karen, your eulogy to Maggie has touched my soul!! And after, years of nursing that is no easy feat!!


    I'm a good girl, I promise

  12. #12
    BullyWood Movie Star I am an EBN Reporter
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    Default Re: Dear Maggie,

    That was so beautiful. I can't write much because your words and loss of your fur baby have moved me to gushing tears. Just know that your family gave Maggie the best and most loving family she could have ever had. It is amazing that from something so horrible as a puppy mill came something so wonderful as Maggie and that she was saved by an incredible family who would treat her as a family member.

    I am so, so sorry for your loss. My hugs and thoughts are with you and your family.

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